Playing The Bigger Game - PART 5

Step 5: Decide That Intimidation Is For Suckers

You know those people who wish you could work with – or at least get to notice you – that scare the hell out of you because they’re out of your league? Well, guess what – they’re actually real, normal people. (Well, maybe ‘normal’ is an overstatement). Unless they’re truly one of the “diva” types, there are generally a lot of ways to approach them successfully.
Remember, people are people. There is no magical halo around the people farther up the food chain –they are all as screwed up as (we!) are. They freak out over the things just like you do, have the same fears and worries as you do – and in fact their stress levels are higher than yours because everything they do is scrutinized so much more.

(Left to Right: Martha Stewart, Sean "P. Diddy" Combs & Michael Eisner)

So why are you intimidated by them? Why are you afraid to approach them for joint ventures, or call them for interviews, or get some foot in the door that would bring you closer to them?

Two reasons:
If you want their approval, you’re afraid you’ll be rejected. And the world will end if that happens, right? Wrong. See the earlier step about failure. Yes, you will be rejected the first time. All that means is that you’ll need a better strategy (more on that later).

Or

If they’re your competition they are scary to you. Maybe the person / company you’re intimidated by is a direct competitor and you’re freaked out that you could never thrive in their shadow. News flash: There’s room for other people if you’re committed to being remarkable. Go buy Seth Godin’s Purple Cow or Tribes and realize the pie is big enough for everyone.

Bottom line is, you have to consciously decide that you’re not going to be intimidated by other people. Nobody is out of your league, and nobody is indestructible.

Think a “regular person” can’t connect with A-listers? Watch carefully, people do it all the time. Think a “regular business” can’t compete with your dominant competitor? IBM thought that, and Dell kicked it’s butt starting out in a dorm room. And tiny little FireFox tore Internet Explorer a new one. It happens all the time. And there’s no reason it can’t happen for you.

Here’s the thing: Intimidation is just the manifestation of insecurity. You’re afraid someone won’t think you’re worthy to talk to or you’re afraid someone’s so much better than you that the free market won’t give you a fighting chance.
Dra-ma.

Instead of letting that twinge of fear paralyze your brain into thinking “never gonna happen” you need to get to the root of that fear, find out what’s causing it, and defuse it with rational thinking. You know, things that maybe have to do with that whole “define your value to others” thing we talked about earlier?

Intimidation is a sucker’s game because it’s all about your brain tricking you into not thinking your way around your insecurity. It’s a defense mechanism designed to protect you because on some level you don’t feel ready.

Game on. SEE YOU ON OPRAH!!!

Playing The Bigger Game - PART 2

The MEGA World of Lil Mogul

by Lil Mogul

STEP 2: Get Honest with the Truth of Who You Are (And The Value That You Provide)
Maybe you’re not playing a bigger game because of fear about who you are – you’re stuck in the “I’m not good enough” or “People are going to think I’m a fraud.” Let me tell it to you straight:

Unless you are committed to being a quitter, “I’m not good enough” is BULL you’re hiding behind. First of all, you’re better than you give yourself credit for because I know you’re taking yourself for granted. Second, you can’t tell me you can’t get better. Maybe you’re not willing to, but that’s “won’t,” not “can’t.” Practice and training can make anyone with a pulse better.

Unless you actually trying to defraud people, you have no reason to see yourself a fraud. You have certain skills you can offer the world, and whether or not you don’t appreciate them, other people can. You may not see yourself as a 10 on the old sliding scale, maybe you’re a 5, but let me tell you this: To people who are a 0, 1 or 2, your 5 might as well be a 10. You have value they need.

So let’s talk about value: It all comes down to what you can do for other people, and it has absolutely nothing to do with all that emotional baggage and drama you’ve wrapped yourself in. I don’t care who is a better __X___ than you are. I don’t care if ___X____ has a bigger following than you, more credentials than you or whatever.

If you can provide value (which you can), you need to get honest about that. Honest with yourself. Because that’s the only way you’re going to get other people to see it, and pay you for it. The MEGA Motto: People Believe What They See and Buy What They Believe!!! You may not be good enough for you (oh, the drama!), but if you’re good enough for them, freakin’ give yourself credit already.

Imagine: You know CPR well enough. Someone stops breathing, and what do you do? Do you start asking yourself if there are better CPR practitioners than you? Do you wonder if your certification came from a prestigious enough teacher? Or maybe you have no certification at all, someone just showed you how to do it (correctly)? Are you going to dredge up every loser feeling you’ve had about yourself and dwell on that while that person slips off into the great unknown?

No!!! You’re going to get on your knees, do that CPR thing, and save that person’s life. Without a second thought, because the situation calls for value, and you have value to offer. Even if other people are better at CPR than you are, you could possibly save a life TODAY. Now quit imagining, and get real. You can do things other people find valuable, but since they come naturally to you or you’re just used to having the skills and hanging around people with the same (or better?) skills than you have you’re feeling sorry for yourself. Dra-ma. PLAY A BIGGER GAME!!! It’s not about what everyone everybody else is doing, it’s about what you can do for people who need what you can do. Don’t make it more difficult than that.

You can build a six-figure business catering to people who need 5s. Why are you worrying about being a 10. It’s not worth it. Be the best 5 you can be, serve the people who need 5s, and if you want to go upwards, do what it takes to become a 6, 7, 8, and so on. But quit with the drama already. Your skills are not worthless and you can absolutely add value. When I started out as a model talent agent with my small entertainment management company, could I compete with Ford Models, William Morris or Bad Boy Productions? NOPE and sticking with that drama killed my bottom line for years. But once I realized “Hey!!! , I don’t have to compete with them. I still know how to scout, develop and manage talented people and get them to be more productive,” I was able to go out there and fill my talent roster (faster than I thought). Was it because I was a 10? Absolutely not. I was a 5, and believe me, the people who were 2s and 3s got a lot of value out of what I provided. Now they are 5s. Win.

Seriously, if you want to play a bigger game than get a bigger view of who you are and what you offer. Start defusing the lies you’ve been telling yourself about why you’re not good enough and everyone is better than you are. Draa-maa.

I’ll walk you through this process in so you can get into gear so you can appreciate what value you truly have to offer and ultimately get people to pay you what you’re worth. Game on.

Until Next Week… Have a most valuable week.

Lil Mogul

Dishin' it with Dwight--- Triple M- MOVIES, MUSIC, MTV Madness

So don't know if you have gotten to the movies recently, however there are some great ones that I have checked out. You must see "Orphan" when I tell you that this orphan in this movie did everything but turn her new family loose, it is the truth. Get your butts out to the movies ASAP... Coming soon are a few new movies and I am highlighting Tyler Perry's "I Can Do Bad All By Myself" starring Mary J. Blige and Taraji Henson it looks really good and Tyler Perry is really doing his thing at producing his stage plays into films I declare him as an honorary THE Future Member... Check out the trailer and let me know what you think...

Also Eve is going to be seen in a new film and word on the street is she will be dropping a new album very soon as well... UMMM Tambourine was very hot two years ago and I cannot wait to hear what tops that, can she do it? Only time will tell... As for the film Eve skates her way through Whip It, Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut starring Ellen Page (Juno) and Kristen Wiig (Saturday Night Live). Eve plays a roller derby girl named Rosa Sparks. Coming in October, until then check out the trailer here:


And last but not least you must see Mariah Carey's remix video to her hot new single "Obsessed" I know some of you hate it and there are always rumors about her, however I think the song is hot because she addressed the issues with her stalker, we all know who this rapper is and this man of THE Future thinks he is totally overrated. Personally a song for him was not worth her time, however I can imagine my own obsessed one in his place... Check out the Music Video with Gucci MAN, which I guess that's code for GOOD MAN, because I recently learned that Gucci means Good... Check out and and leave a comment if you think its GUCCI or NOT...

Congrats to MTV, Jalia who is representing the transgender community on Diddy's Making His Band reality series. Also revealed was America's Best Dance Crew first-ever transgender dance group, Vogue Evolution. Lets keep pushing our community toward the success we all deserve... Thanks MTV!!!