Playing The Bigger Game - PART 5

Step 5: Decide That Intimidation Is For Suckers

You know those people who wish you could work with – or at least get to notice you – that scare the hell out of you because they’re out of your league? Well, guess what – they’re actually real, normal people. (Well, maybe ‘normal’ is an overstatement). Unless they’re truly one of the “diva” types, there are generally a lot of ways to approach them successfully.
Remember, people are people. There is no magical halo around the people farther up the food chain –they are all as screwed up as (we!) are. They freak out over the things just like you do, have the same fears and worries as you do – and in fact their stress levels are higher than yours because everything they do is scrutinized so much more.

(Left to Right: Martha Stewart, Sean "P. Diddy" Combs & Michael Eisner)

So why are you intimidated by them? Why are you afraid to approach them for joint ventures, or call them for interviews, or get some foot in the door that would bring you closer to them?

Two reasons:
If you want their approval, you’re afraid you’ll be rejected. And the world will end if that happens, right? Wrong. See the earlier step about failure. Yes, you will be rejected the first time. All that means is that you’ll need a better strategy (more on that later).

Or

If they’re your competition they are scary to you. Maybe the person / company you’re intimidated by is a direct competitor and you’re freaked out that you could never thrive in their shadow. News flash: There’s room for other people if you’re committed to being remarkable. Go buy Seth Godin’s Purple Cow or Tribes and realize the pie is big enough for everyone.

Bottom line is, you have to consciously decide that you’re not going to be intimidated by other people. Nobody is out of your league, and nobody is indestructible.

Think a “regular person” can’t connect with A-listers? Watch carefully, people do it all the time. Think a “regular business” can’t compete with your dominant competitor? IBM thought that, and Dell kicked it’s butt starting out in a dorm room. And tiny little FireFox tore Internet Explorer a new one. It happens all the time. And there’s no reason it can’t happen for you.

Here’s the thing: Intimidation is just the manifestation of insecurity. You’re afraid someone won’t think you’re worthy to talk to or you’re afraid someone’s so much better than you that the free market won’t give you a fighting chance.
Dra-ma.

Instead of letting that twinge of fear paralyze your brain into thinking “never gonna happen” you need to get to the root of that fear, find out what’s causing it, and defuse it with rational thinking. You know, things that maybe have to do with that whole “define your value to others” thing we talked about earlier?

Intimidation is a sucker’s game because it’s all about your brain tricking you into not thinking your way around your insecurity. It’s a defense mechanism designed to protect you because on some level you don’t feel ready.

Game on. SEE YOU ON OPRAH!!!