Young, Fabulous & Broke?

by George Kevin Jordan



On a rainy Sunday after my writer's group I found myself waiting out the rain in a bookstore. I found a jewel of a book. Suze Orman's "The Money Book for the Young Fabulous and Broke"

I couldn't put it down. I read most of it in a single night. Most of the advice was simple, but it was an easy ready, with quick reference guides. And it occurred tome that I clung to this book because as an artist/writer many of us are stuck between starving artist and successful practitioner. Well, there are practical things you can do to not be so broke during your journey. This book helps. Take a read, and keep pushing towards your dreams.

4 Colored Boys Like Me

Dane Harrington Joseph

Writer and actor; producer, 'Drama Queenz' and 'Langston's'

Posted: 1/9/12 02:49 PM ET on The Huffpost Gay Voices

I am not a racist.

There's a perfectly sound reason why my new project, Langston's, is subtitled "a film by (4) colored boys." Besides the obvious answer (it's a collaboration between four noted black and latino filmmakers), there's also a much more personal reason, dating back about 20 years to when I was a little colored boy myself (as my grandma would affectionately call me).

Back then, I would occasionally wet my bed at night. After such incidents I'd hide my gold-tinted "tighty whities" from my father, who would undoubtedly "whoop" me if he found them. Nonetheless, despite my best efforts, he would sniff them out after they had festered for a few days in some ill-concealed location.

He would then call out for me in his ironically shrill, baritone voice, and, after a series of insults, proceed to beat me, accentuating verbally my various flaws with each lash. My worst offense, however, would be crying, because "black men don't cry," an adage he'd bark at me whenever my eyes started to well up. So I would just bite my lip until he was finished, then retire to my room and cry secretly into my pillow, all the while thinking, "I need help."

Of course, I didn't mean I needed to be rescued from my father's "tough love." Rather, I needed help controlling my compulsion to be me. I didn't want to be me. I hated me. "Me" needed help, and I knew no other little "colored" boys like me who could show me the way. So I looked to pop culture for guidance: music, movies, TV. Bill Cosby? No. Montel Williams? Denzel Washington? No. Flava Flav? Hell no. There was not one media personality or public figure that reflected me. I wasn't relevant. I didn't matter.

I grew up, cried a little less, and, as a teen, became even more obsessed with the idea of finding someone to connect with -- other little colored boys like me. I discovered this newfangled thing called "the Internet" at the library. I made new virtual "friends" and consequently put myself in unsafe situations, sexually and emotionally, just to feel something, to relate to someone. I thought that love manifested physically between a 41-year-old Italian bear and a 15-year-old little colored boy could fill a void, could help substitute for the lack of love I felt for myself; it didn't.

I recall going to my mom a few months later and having her take me for my first HIV test, and crying, and then her crying, and then us crying again when the results came back negative. And I remember thinking I would never be self-destructive in that way again.

I must admit, however, that the lure of boys and booze to fill a void still lingers, to gain instant gratification to temporarily replace constant feelings of illegitimacy. And while this could, in truth, be the story of anyone of any race, I find that my existence as a gay man of color has rarely been validated; how I felt as a little colored boy looking to the media for validation still resounds today as a grown colored man. Aside from a slew of big black men in pretty dresses (RuPaul, Tyler Perry, Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence, Jamie Foxx, and Flip Wilson, all of whom I admire, but almost all of whom aren't gay) and some admirable attempts by a few noted filmmakers (Patrick Ian Polk, Maurice Jamal, and Roger Omeus, to name a few), there has not been a constant presence of gay men of color in mainstream media or popular culture.

Coupled with negative societal perspectives on homosexuality, the diminished presence of black-themed entertainment that was so pervasive in the '80s and '90s, and the Euro-centric focus of most gay entertainment and advertising, it's not so surprising that self-destructive actions among young gay black men are on the rise, with the CDC reporting that new infections among said demographic saw a dramatic increase of 48 percent in recent years, with 59 percent of those carrying the disease unaware of their status.

As a filmmaker, I see the problem as a matter of value. Television and film are a reflection of reality, barometers of what is real and relevant. If you do not see "you" reflected, subconsciously or not, a feeling of irrelevance can set in. And when this occurs, it can devalue your existence, especially when you are at a younger, more impressionable age and trying to find yourself.

So what happens to little colored boys like me? The ones growing up with no one to look up to? The ones who wet the bed and can't make their fathers proud? The ones who hate themselves and cry at nights? The ones sleeping with older men to fill a void or sleeping with just anyone with disregard for their lives or personal health? Are they as lucky as I was, or do they become a statistic?

My resolution for 2012 is to create more works for boys like me and turn feelings of irrelevance into feelings of self-love and inner peace. This resolution is reflected in the aforementioned film Langston's, a piece that spans the gamut of the LGBTQ experience for people of color. After a year of development, the four of us have created a singular film comprising four interconnected stories set in a gay, urban nightclub in Brooklyn.

The film is unapologetically colored, daringly gay, and yet strikingly universal. More importantly, it will forever be a testament to the worth and beauty of a community, something for little colored boys to look to so that they rarely, if ever, feel the emptiness I once felt.

May your stories be told, no matter what race, religion, orientation or creed, as well. You deserve it. You have value.

Through Jan. 14, we are accepting donations for this passion project on Kickstarter. We welcome your support for our love letter to little colored boys like us.

5 Questions to Ask Yourself as You Grow Your Business in 2012

New business success starts with improvements in YOU. These questions will get you started

by Felicia Joy

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I love this time of year. It represents a fresh start. It gives people and businesses a symbolic moment in time to assess what worked well last year, what didn’t and wipe the slate clean and start all over.

It is easy and requires no effort to think about what we’d like to do differently in business. The tough part is making and sustaining changes—and even tougher than that is realizing you can’t move your business to the next level or fix a struggling business by simply focusing on the business. You also have to focus on fixing yourself.

Entrepreneurship is literally a self-improvement obstacle course. In launching and growing a business, all your strengths will be tapped and all your weaknesses will be revealed. The business gets better when you get better. If not, the business fails. So any business planning you have done or are doing for the New Year should include taking stock and improving you.

Here are five questions you should ask yourself to

make sure you grow as a person in the New Year and therefore grow your business too:

1. Am I well? Anxiety, stress and physical disease zap your energy. One of the easy traps to fall into as an entrepreneur is saying and believing that you’ll pay more attention to your health once you make your business successful. That’s a fallacy. Burnout is real. Vitamin deficiency is real. Depression is real. Diabetes, hypertension, emotional bondage and all the other preventable health ailments that come from ignoring your body, eating in response to problems and avoiding issues instead of facing and resolving them are real. That also includes sitting at the computer or working in the business from the moment you get up until you pass out at night with no exercise, quiet time or focused loving interaction with your significant other or family. If you don’t have the stamina to run the business without running yourself down then you must make a conscious choice now to change. You don’t have to be a body builder or love guru but you do need to be well. Try a retreat or another means of pulling back to check in with yourself and make sure you are.
2. Do I have strong relationships? Every success in this world comes out of some kind of relationship. What’s the quality of your relationships? Think about how connected you feel. Do you feel like you have people who genuinely support and love you—do you support and love them? Check in with your friends, family, employees and business partners to find out how they really feel. These are people who know all your “stuff” and love you anyway. These relationships are a safe haven through tough times and an inner circle to celebrate with during great times. Make sure you make a concerted effort throughout the year to give focused time to your relationships.

3. Do I have the skills I need to succeed?

It takes a lot to make a business work. If you have not taken an honest look at where your business keeps getting stuck and figuring out what skills you need to move beyond that recurrence now is the time to do that. Once you brainstorm a list of skills select one or two of them that you will intentionally focus on improving this year.

4. Am I 100% committed? Successful entrepreneurship does not result from half-hearted efforts. You’re either completely committed or your business is on the way out. Some people believe they are committed because they are still doing business every day. Time in service doesn’t mean you are committed. Being committed means you are willing to show up and make the changes that will consistently improve the business and make it profitable, or move you on to a business that will. Have you had an executive meeting with yourself regarding commitment? Check in with self to make sure you are completely committed.

5. Do you execute? The most talented people with the best ideas and best plans don’t win unless they execute. Do you accomplish the daily, weekly and monthly tasks that are critical to your business success? That’s a yes or no question. If your answer is no, you have to be totally honest and determine within yourself why you do not execute and how to move to the point that you do. In business, there is no trying. Your either are getting it done, or you’re not.

Answer these five questions to find out what you need to work through to hit your targets in 2012.

GLO with PRIDE

How you doin' GLO Family and Friends,

President Barak Obama proclaimed June both Black Music and Gay Pride Month and this past weekend was filled with a lot of GLOtastic events that celebrated the month of June. First, GLO TV Network started off the weekend with the kick off to the 1^st Harlem Black Gay Pride in history. The intimate evening took place at Billie Black’s, located in the heart of Harlem. The night was hosted by none other than the Soulful Entertainer himself, Butterfly Soul and the house was packed. There were heartfelt speeches, spoken words, good food and great drinks, but nothing felt better than to see all the GLO on everyone’s faces and the love that we all embraced. A Special thanks to Bacardi and all the sponsors that participated for making the evening an unforgettable one. The night ended as we continued to GLO in Brooklyn as we headed over to the New York Mega Pride Party hosted by three of the most promising promoters, Ricky Day, KK, and James Saunders held at the Brooklyn Loft. We GLOed right into the wee hours of the night with all the love and support from a few of our GLO friends.

Next up was an event that is sure to go down in history, The 1^st Harlem Pride Street Fair. The Street was packed as faces of all beautiful races, genders, ages, and companies dawned along 119^th Street. The Saturday afternoon was filled with Pride and Joy as everyone came together in perfect harmony. The Harlem Pride Street Fair was topped off by great food, good music, gay-lebrity entertainers, Art, Health Education/prevention and tons of networking. This was one you should have not missed because it was GLOvah!! After that we were off to Manhattan to spend an evening at the New World Stages for the Out of the Box 2010 event. The room was wall to wall packed with GLOful faces as we watched creativity on film with the LGBTQ Web Series Festival. The evening was hosted by the moguls of The Future Forward, Nathan Seven Scott, Dwight O’Neal, and Cornelius Jones Jr members of the GLO TV family. The festival featured popular web series shows that are sure to have us all learning to leave the TV turned off. The event ended with a Q&A with all the talented creators and a few of the characters of the shows. We also had a guest appearance by none other than the frame extraordinaire himself, Stevie Boi.

Finally, the event of all events, the Main Event, The 40^th annual Gay Pride Parade. Over 850,000 homo-friendly spectators watched as we showed are true colors through the streets of Midtown and the village. Not only were we at one of the biggest events of the weekend but GLO TV had our very 1^st GLO float. Our GLObile was full of gorgeous faces and races. Our float featured performances by Hip Hop artist Bry’nt, (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZI9bMTWaf2s) the wonderful Foxx Jazzell, Last Offense, and R&B artist Joya Bravo. We also had special appearances by Def Poetry Jam’s Emmanuel Xavier, R&B artist Nhojj, Marck Angel, King Jabbar and our sexy Solid GLO Dancers. We really let our light shine and now I know that everyone will begin to feel the power of the GLO.

We send our GLO love and Special thanks to FACES NY, Blur Advertising, Harlem Pride, Temped to Touch, The Hot Boyz, Sonu Water and all of our partners and GLO friends for making this weekend a GLOtastic one. All Photos by Davide Laffe

LOS ANGELES - 4th of JULY!

Starting this Friday, GLO TV is proud to be a sponsor of At The Beach/Los Angeles Black Pride. Join us at the GLO TV Film Festival and the "Flipping The Script" Panel. On Saturday it’s the world famous Malibu Beach Party. Check out ATBLA.com for all the details. Will you GLO with US?

www.glotvnetwork.com

BREAKING NEWS - GLO TV with PRESIDENT MAURICE JAMAL FEATURED IN JET MAGAZINE

GLO TV, THE WORLD’S FIRST URBAN LGBT TV NETWORK AND ITS PRESIDENT MAURICE JAMAL FEATURED IN JET MAGAZINE

Maurice Jamal, President of GLO TV is featured in the current issue of Jet Magazine speaking about the future of independent film, digital media and GLO TV. As a pioneer amongst urban LGBT filmmakers, Jamal discusses how GLO TV sets an example for the new trends and desires in digital media.

“We have to create a different economic model as filmmakers and storytellers. I had so many friends, not just in the gay community, who would say they had great stories but no way to get them out. So a bunch of us got together and founded a television network as a way to get filmmakers out there whose voices you don’t hear from a lot,” Jamal reflects.

The article, with actor Jaden Smith on the cover, is on newsstands now. Pick up a copy and write to the editors at JET to inform them that you want to hear more about GLO TV, as well as quality representation of the urban LGBT community.

The future of TV has arrived and it is about reflecting our community. Be bold. Be proud. Let everyone see your GLO!

ABOUT GLO TV

The GLO TV Network is first urban LGBT TV network and our goal is to always make you proud. GLO is an innovative TV network with a diverse slate of quality programming for the urban LGBT audience, our friends, family and allies. GLO is about showing all of who we are with programs that are entertaining, informative, affirming and sometimes provocative. GLO understands that within each of us is a unique story to be told. You can trust that our programs will always be presented with creativity, quality and integrity.

GLO TV is led by President Maurice Jamal who is a celebrated independent filmmaker in the LGBT community for giving us such films and programs as “Ski Trip,” “Friends & Lovers” and “Dirty Laundry” which starred Rockmund Dunbar, Loretta Divine, Sommore, Jennifer Lewis and Terri J. Vaughn.

For more information about GLO TV, visit http://www.glotvnetwork.com. Subscribe, Sign-up, Support. The season's preview begins on Sunday, June 27 and the full season of shows will premiere on Friday, September 3, 2010.

It's About You. It's About Us. It's About Time!

Fight for your Business Life as an Entrepreneur

The MEGA World of Lil Mogul

Watching Olympic athletes compete, we’re taken to a place where special humans participate in a noble cause. These heroes commit countless hours over many years, pushing their minds and bodies to achieve a level of excellence that might qualify them to … merely to be on an Olympic team to represent their country.

Notice neither winning medals nor glory were mentioned. Most Olympians find neither, and yet they try.

Watching an event, we’re at once self-conscious and grateful when the long lens of the camera invades that private moment just prior to the competition. Self-conscious because of the intrusion but grateful to share this moment and benefit vicariously from the Herculean effort about to be displayed.

The camera moves in closer. We can see the Olympian’s eyes and imagine their thoughts. The runner is thinking, “Twelve years and it all comes down to the next few seconds. Must remember the fundamentals.” The gymnast is having a word with herself, “Today, nothing less than my personal best.”

Then the long lens captures the mouth. There’s a lick to fight the cotton mouth that only those who risk failure have tasted. The lips move slightly to offer a prayer or claim an affirmation.

Small business owners are a lot like Olympic athletes: They commit countless hours over many years, pushing mind and body to achieve a level of excellence that might somehow allow them to … merely make a living. Medals and glory? Most small business owners find neither and yet they show up, year after year, to work, to deliver and to contribute.

Like an Olympic race, the future of a small business often rides on the owner’s performance over a very short period. If the camera could take you in close, you would see the owner thinking: “All these years of work and risk could come down to how well I deliver this proposal in the next few minutes. Must remember the fundamentals.” The long lens would capture the mouth. There’s the lick to lessen the cotton mouth that only those who risk failure have tasted. Then the lips move, ever so slightly, to offer a prayer or claim an affirmation.

Olympians and small business owners are dedicated to what they love. They work hard, take great risks and seek excellence, against all odds and usually at their own expense. To all my entrepreneurs continue the FIGHT within and live that MEGA Dream. The spirit of Olympians and Small Business Owners makes the world a better place.

Playing The Bigger Game - PART 7 & Final Step

Step 7: Invest Even When It Seems Scary, (Especially When It Seems Scary)

I once worked at a place that was cutting back and micromanaging things, cutting the sales force and scouring phone logs to catch people making 50 cent long distance calls. One experienced worker shook her head and said “If the company’s having trouble, they should spend more on the sales force, not less. My last company did that, and it saved them.”
This company didn’t. 6 months later, *poof*, they were gone (I got out of there well before then, though).

The point is, it’s scary to invest time or money when you don’t have enough of either. But you have to if you want to play a bigger game. And no, I’m not trying to sell you something today. (Though I make no promises to what the future holds). Ask anyone who has made a major leap in their life or business and you’ll find that they either invested a sizable amount of time or money in growing.

Let’s talk about time first, because that’s essentially what I’m urging you to do right now so you can play a bigger game. I want you to start the PLAN and write it down.

You have tons and tons of time to invest in yourself, but you’re just not doing it. Seriously, I wasn’t kidding when I told you to put LOST on your TiVo instead of watching it live. You have pockets of time you’re not leveraging everywhere – TV, web surfing, lunch, 30 minutes before bed / before work … if you were committed, you’d make the time happen.

Time, when invested regularly, changes your game. If you’re harried and overworked, you’re harried and overworked. That’s how you see yourself. But if you spend 30 minutes every Tuesday at lunch improving your game, then you’re not harried anymore. You’re seeing yourself as a player who is going places – and perception becomes reality. One 30 minute appointment with yourself can transform your life. Don’t believe me? Ask the people one level above you and they’ll agree with me.

Time lets you leverage assets you already have. Yeah, you’ve got books / tapes / programs / whatever. But are you using them? No, because you’ve fooled yourself into the idea you don’t have time. You have it, you’re just not committed to using it. Make that sliver of time, keep that appointment with yourself and start using the resources you already have.

I’m not going to lie to you – I want you to make time for your Investment. Hey, I’m going to continue with my Investment, making sure I’m playing the biggest game I can. If you’re not going to invest in yourself, then you’ll never play a bigger game. Start by investing time so you’ll have a container to put new training in as you acquire it.

30 minutes at lunch, one day a week. If you won’t do that, what will you do? Remember, “Nothing works until you do.”

Now I get to the sticky part – the part where I talk about spending money (No, I’m not selling you something today. Easy, tiger). I’m going to be very specific about how you need to consider spending money when you’re moving to the next level.

Your money, like your time, is a resource. You must invest (not spend, invest) it incredibly wisely. Scared money, don't make money!!!

Here’s my advice to you.
Only invest when you can see a return that makes sense for your business. Just because some type of training or product exists does not mean it makes sense to buy. Whatever it promises may not apply to your business, even if it’s touted as having made other people money. Look at the thing you’re about to buy and say “Can I see myself making a solid return on this investment in 30 days or 3 months or 6 months or whatever?” If you can’t, then it’s likely not the thing you need to invest in.

Protect yourself by investing when there are guarantees. My first big-ticket purchase was a $1,000 training course with a 60 day guarantee. I bought it with the express intent that if I didn’t make my money back (and more) in 60 days, I’d return it. I made my money quickly, and kept the product. But if it hadn’t been able to deliver, I would have been safe knowing I could return it.

Take cues from those who are playing a bigger game. Those people you’re networking upwards with? Find out what they’re doing. Find out what they’re buying. Find out what they approve of. Don’t just take other people’s word for things – model the people who are getting the results you want to get. This gives you the highest chance of getting relevant training that will apply to your situation.

Don’t think about price – think about value. Would you trade a dime for a dollar? That’s a no brainer question. Would you trade $1,000 for $10,000? You think you would, but then you balk at training that costs that much. Don’t feel bad, we all do it and it takes time to get out of that mindset. But all that matters is return on investment. If you’re getting 5 times or 10 times what you invested back, what you paid for was free.

Value is the biggest take-away I want you to think about here. When you see these public relations agents charging $20,000 a year or these consultants charging $100,000 for working for a client, you bet your ass it’s because they’re helping the other person get 5 or 10 times that amount in return. They only buy when it’s going to end up free in the long run.

Warren Buffett said “Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.” Never forget that when you’re on your quest to play a bigger game.

Yeah, that’s a direct quote from the second richest person on this planet. I think he’s playing a pretty big game.

If you missed any of the steps, you can search on The Future. Please follow me on Twitter.com/LilMogul.

Thanks for your time. I hope you found it valuable.

Lil Mogul

Playing The Bigger Game - PART 6

Step 6: Surround Yourself with People Playing A Much Bigger Game.

Once you realize that intimidation is for suckers, it’s time to use that newfound knowledge to surround yourself with people who will force you to play a bigger game every single day.

If you’re not actively working to add more of these people to your social / professional circle, then you’re in trouble.

Here’s why:
As humans, we tend to live up to the expectations of our direct peer group. In fact, for the most part, it’s a limit – an average of maybe our five closest connections. Don’t believe me? Rich people hang out with rich people. Overweight people tend to have an overweight social circle. Health nuts chill with health nuts. We tend to hang around with people who reinforce our current set of behaviors, and we don’t deviate much.

Because of that, a small-game crowd can actively pull you down. Yeah, this is the sad part. Hanging with struggling business people? See what happens when you tell them you’re taking a daring risk. (”Are you crazy?”) Trying to lose weight? See how people react around you when you try to eat more sensibly. (”C’mon, live a little.”) If you decide to up your game, you’re rocking the boat for your own crowd, and they will – with the best of intentions – try and draw you back to “safety.”

It’s a tough world for those hanging with small-game crowds. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not advising you to ditch your friends and associates – far from it. Instead, you I’m saying that you need to be working on expanding your own circle to include more bigger-game people and be open to helping your current peers come along for the ride.

If your current peers aren’t willing to play a bigger game, be gracious and understanding. It’s not easy. You may even be squirming thinking about it. But nothing motivates like a good example, so focus on being one.

How do you find people who are playing a bigger game? It’s simple. Look for the people at the top of the food chain in your niche and consider their type of game. Does the thought inspire you or terrify you? If it’s the latter, there’s no shame in that. Maybe it makes no sense for a one-person operation to try and jump to the game of someone with a staff of hundreds.

So go one level down. Who’s one tier down from them? Can you play your game on their level? Inspired? Run with it. Terrified? Drop down another rung, and lather/rinse/repeat until you get to a point where that feeling of terror softens into the sense that “Oh crap, I might actually have a snowball’s chance of pulling this off.”

A snowball’s chance is good enough. It’s a start. Find people at that level and start networking your way onto their radar (more on that in upcoming Tuesday’s when I’ll give you notes on networking). Start stepping out and risking some public failures and they will do what they can to keep you from failing.

There’s nothing a successful person loves more than giving a boost to someone with chops, because they remember when someone a little higher up did the same thing for them. Leverage the hell out of that.

When you hang with people who play a bigger game, they actively pull you upwards. To continue hanging with them, you’ll feel a positive pressure to push yourself in all the right ways and to stop making excuses. They’re not going to accept your excuses and fears of failure. They’ll understand them, and they’ll empathize with them … they just won’t tolerate them.

And when that happens, you’ll push past your limiting beliefs and play that bigger game to the max so you can keep hanging with that group of real players. I’ll step you through how to start the ball rolling on. Game on.