Saturday, January 30, 2010

Zolra's Corner: The Teen Wedding Ring



My blog Zolra Nightly is all about talking, debating, and commenting on situations going on in everyday life, mostly around the gay community. I can't deny that a part of me is a commentator. Whenever or wherever there is something that I agree and disagree with, I can't help but comment on the subject.

Today I wanted to talk about my best friend. I'll call him Roller (because his life kind of feels like a roller coaster). Roller and I have been best friends for five years now. We don't talk much since graduation, but we keep in contact through emails.

Roller was also my first boyfriend, and I was Roller's first too. While still going through accepting me as a gay male through high school, he came into my life unexpectedly. Every time I look back, I began to feel like we rushed into the relationship too quickly. We became friends on a Thursday, called each other nonstop on the weekends, and became a couple on Monday. I think if we took it slow, I'm sure it would've ended up differently.

Before I knew it, our relationship was 4 years of breakups, makeups, arguing, mental problems, and dating other people. That relationship was something I would never forget. If we ever thought of dating again, I know things would be much better. We went through things that adults are going through now.

That's why when people talk to me about their relationships, I completely understand them. Roller and I were the embodiment of a real relationship. Many people thought I made a big mistake dating that boy. They are sadly mistaken. No one knew Roller the way I did. There are some things about him that only I know, and he hasn't told any of his friends yet.

One night, my protection towards Roller came back. I respect his decisions no matter what, but some of his choices makes me worry about him a lot. Roller is an independent man, but he has a co-dependency problem when it comes to relationships. After he gets out of one, I see him with another one immediately. Every time we broke up, I will be single for months because of the healing process, but I see him with another man sooner than I expected.

That night, he told me that he was in a relationship. Through his eyes, he's fall for this guy. Love is in the air. I was happy when he said that, but my smile turned into a frown after the next sentence came out of his mouth. He's eighteen years old about thinking about marrying his boyfriend.

Nowadays, people are against teens getting married. The world is for them to explore. They have all the time to settle down. Matter of fact, 20s are supposed to be the decade of having fun and getting your career together. Yet, there are some teens whom are wise and responsible enough to settle down, and gets married. After hearing the two perspectives, it got me thinking.

Can teens get married if they are in the right state of mind and independence to do so?

2 comments:

Lil Mogul Richard E. Pelzer II said...

Two words... N O!
I haven't seen 18 in 20 years and I do not understand why folks are so afraid of being alone. Lonely and alone are two different things. PLEASE, PLEASE I BEG, (I am a Virgo and that is not in our natural; however...)you as a teen, 20, 30, 40 or even 50-something to think about that word marriage and what it means to the both of you. MARRIAGE... The question should be is it right for everyone?

Nathan "Seven" Scott said...

Teens haven't fully developed to even think about marriage. It's a premature thing to do. Two people should spend a considerable amount of time together before finally sealing the deal and adhering to those vows of for better or worse and til death do they part. These days people jump in and out as soon as the pot gets too hot. What's the rush?

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