Arts.Advocacy+Wellness: "Peace & Surrender"

PEACE & SURRENDER

Bonjour friends,


I've made it to Paris safe and sound. Taking in the sights and sounds (literally as I type I'm enjoying the chipper voices of young lads playing catch on the street corner.)  Play,  what we did a lot when we were younger, like there was no tomorrow.  Playing in peace and surrendering to the moment, contentment.  


I received a word very prolific, motivating, and wise in meditation on Sunday at Kadampa 
Meditation Center in Silverlake. It went something like this:  "If something can be remedied, why be unhappy with it.  If something can't be remedied, still why be unhappy."  I can use this to assess many situations in my life. I hope it can offer you peace in your surrendering.  Find the joy and go play in peace, just like the kids I'm hearing on the street corner.   

Arts.Adocacy+Wellness: "Shaktai Gawain. &Now2012 New Writing in Paris"

"The Universe will Reward you 

for taking Risks on it's behalf"

These are the words of Shakti Gawain, pioneer in the field of personal development.  Living by this mantra has been a practice of mine since deciding to leave the comfort my Broadway show "The Lion King," in 2007.  Though I have returned to the show on many occasions since my first departure, it was the courage I had in self and the promise of the universe that carried me along every step.  


Every morning I pass this house during my walks with my dog Boogie.  The house is quite unique and peculiar.  It has this cool contemporary/industrial design and bouquet of red roses outline the front door pane.  Located in the Hollywood Hills, it's an intriguing house. Leveled flat on the ground is the front half of the house.  Supported by a cast of beams, welded into the ground, which drops on a decline is the remaining half of the house.  Kinda scary when you look at it and the mind thinks how "risky" it is to live here with all the natural disasters in Los Angeles.  This house has been around for your years maybe even decades, and is still standing.  I've taken the approach of seeing the light in this situation and connecting it to my spiritual walk. As my life and some choices are, to some degree, risky, the universe is my foundation, my ground, my beam.  Constantly supporting me.  

Dale Carnegie once said, "The person who gets the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare..."

I encourage you to dare with me in this journey and I am here to support you in YOUR journey.....

Are You Still The Same Person From High School?

I don't think of high school that much. The memories of those four years are slipping away by the minute. It's kind of weird when you think about it. People say that high school is supposed to scar you for life whether it's good or bad. And yet, here I am, not really affected by high school.

All I remember is being that silent, still kind, shy person that was hardly talking to anyone. I was very private about my life due to my dysfunctional family, being bullied because I was the guy who was into technology and glee club instead of sports, and the struggle to accept my sexuality. I wasn't open about my life at all. It was a very difficult time.

I was not only on a journey towards accepting myself, but also looking for true friendships and true love. Everybody knows that when you break up with someone in high school, it feels like the end of the world. I sure had my share of those relationships and went through the emotions. The same thing applies to friendships.

Then once graduation was slowly approaching, I began to change. It all started when I sat down in a chair and said to myself "Do you love yourself? Do you accept everything about yourself as a gay man who loves glee club and computers? And do you give a damn about what others think about you?"

It was then that I became the person I am now. I am now this confident, calm, kind person who is completely open about his life. I am letting out all of this large amount of natural energy every day. I am now not afraid to tell people my stories. I even make a living writing and talking about my funny life. Ain't that a coincidence?

By the time graduation even came, everyone knew that I was different. I was still kind and friendly to everyone, but they knew I had this fiery temper if you pushed my buttons to the limit. I can deal with a lot of things. I have tough skin and a large amount of patience. However, if I am pushed to the max (and I'm talking about days of dealing with crap), that's when I explode. And back in school, if I exploded, everyone noticed it. My balls grew bigger and I knew how to use them.

When I look back at the person I was, I don't even see him anymore. He is fading away completely. I always thought that I would still be that same person. Not the depressed man, but the quiet, private person who wouldn't want to talk to anybody about his life. The only thing that's the same about me is that I'm still the shy type. I can't help it. It's stuck with me.

After years of leaving those four years behind, are you still that same person from high school?

Yolo Akili- "Are We The Kind of Boys We Want?" Docu-Drama Spoken Word Music Video - Thursday, March 24th, 2011 Premiere

THE QUESTION IS…

Would You DATE Yourself?

And check out Yolo's website, too. Go to Amazon.com and downloaded Yolo's new CD Purple Galaxy or on CDBaby.com and iTunes also.

How I discovered "The Secret"

So it was around 3AM and I was fast asleep in bed with my new boyfriend, when all of a sudden something woke me up right out of my sleep. When I woke up I noticed that the light from his cell phone was being hidden under the cover and that he was obviously texting someone in the middle of the night. I was so upset that I got out of bed and went into the bathroom to splash water on my face, because Beyonce’s “Ring the Alarm” was pounding in my head and was burning from anger. I had finally met someone that I was really falling hard for and this guy was just like all the others it appeared. The next day I had an attitude toward him and what few items I had left at his home I gathered up to take back to my own; because I had already decided that this was the beginning of our end. As I was venting to my best friend about what happened I passed a book store and I thought about this book that everyone was telling me about called “The Secret” and how it had changed their lives and how they felt like I should read it. I knew that I had a business trip coming up so I decided that I would take the book with me on it and read it while I was in San Francisco.

When I read the book it really reflected how I was currently feeling sad, broken, loveless, and lost. I did not really understand what I was going to really get from the book, but my intuition told me not to discuss the cell phone incident with my partner until after I return from my trip. When I read the book it really taught me a great secret, one that I had used without realizing it. It taught me that I have a great magic inside of me and that everything in my life I was attracting it. I had always thought that men were worthless and I was not worthy to be loved the right way and that is what I got. In that moment I decided that I was worthy of love and that I was beautiful on the outside as well as inside, instantly tingling went throughout my body. I also declared that I wanted to be successful and that I was going to have a booming career. I am not saying these things to just brag; however if you look at my life and my circumstances they do reflect these blessings. I noticed a difference immediately when I shifted my thoughts, on my trip I received a financial blessing on my plan ride home, a free shuttle ride, entire new wardrobe within a month, and a repaired romance (Come to find out he was checking the time on the phone, because he accidentally unplugged the clock and didn’t want us to over sleep, he hid the phone to keep the light from waking me). I urge you to sit in a quite still place on today and keep saying over and over what you want as if you always had it and watch how quickly it will become yours. God gave all of us equal gifts and the one that we usually misuse is our power to will. My daily mantra is “I am happy, healthy, and wealthy… Yay Yay Yay” and whenever I say it, it reminds me to radiate thoughts that bring me those things. May the power of your thoughts bring you many blessings, that is my prayer for you, Amen.

What'll I Do Now That I Am Single- Part 3

MEET MY FRIEND FRIEND

So now that you are dating yourself many times you may have an empty feeling on the inside, I can only assume that you don’t like something about being alone and you must find out what it is that you don’t like about it. Someone once told me that you cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with and I have learned that statement is very true. Many times we think that we cannot get some of the benefits that a relationship has if you are not in one and that’s the emptiness. Well I am here to argue the difference, because if you list the things that you do with a companion there are only a few things you need someone else for and I have a solution to that too. I introduce to you the friend friend, yes I said it a friend friend is not a regular friend and you all know this. It is a friend with benefits. Now you can decide what those benefits are, it could be companionship, someone to make you laugh, financial advancements, or sex you decide and trust I will not judge. Now with the friend friend keeping you busy we can work on filling this void and most likely your void is coming from insecurities that you may have within yourself.

One way to get over YOUR insecurities is to make a list of all the things that you like about YOURSELF, these things can range from goals you achieved to actual physical attributes that you have. By recognizing things that you appreciate about yourself you are gradually building your self-esteem. You can also fill this void by doing things that you enjoy; in addition you can learn or start doing new hobbies that may strike interest in you. These are all examples of things that will fill your emptiness. Look at you dating yourself and enjoying your friend friend, I am so proud of you! Happy Valentine's Day!

What'll I Do Now That I Am Single - Part 2

Make Me Whole

There are some people that need someone in their life to make them feel whole, why is that? If you need someone with you to fill a void then I suggest some self help techniques to assist in filling this void other than a person, because no one can make you happy with yourself, but yourself. 

I am a very busy individual who loves companionship. I felt as though I wasn’t cut out for a relationship at one point.  Each person that I met ended in disaster and I did not understand why. Then finally my dream came true and I met someone that filled my entire being and I felt whole, my career was on track and so was my love life. Then my partner told me that the relationship felt empty and that I was far too busy for this romance we had created. What do you think I did? Many probably think that I chose the relationship and lived happily ever after. Well I didn’t, I chose to analyze this romance we had created and I saw it was not healthy. 

In relationships there are certain things that should be held high one being time, another being commitment. Our relationship was missing that, I had taken advantage of our union and took it for granted, the reason I chose not to work on fixing what we had was because I wanted to keep this special person in my life as a friend and not someone that I may one day resent, because of sacrificing other things that seemed important to me. Deep down in my heart I believe that our hearts will reconnect when the timing is appropriate. After the split one major thing I noticed was in our time apart I felt like I was incomplete and empty. I felt like I could not function without my lover in my life. Uh oh, I had become dependent; this frightened me and had to figure out what to do. Now you may be saying that this is what you are suppose to have a form of dependence in a relationship and I am not saying that I disagree, but what is wrong with saving this form of dependence for marriage. A relationship that is under 3 years, I believe that it is far too soon to be dependent on another individual. This is one thing that will defiantly end your relationship. How could I depend so heavily on someone I had only been with for less than a year?

So many times in relationships we only think about ourselves once the warranty expires, and one reason we do that is because we are only ready for a relationship with ME, there is that word again you can’t seem to escape it can you. Well I guess because you are only ready to date yourself right now, so let the dating begin. This is the month that we celebrate love, dating, and matters of the heart, so why not start with yourself?

Arts.Advocacy+Wellness: "Love is..."

“…a combination of care, knowledge, responsibility, respect, trust, commitment.”
-bell hooks

Love is….

Love is…
Self, within, one, communal.
A mystery, unknown, hidden.
What one makes of it
Or how one defines it for self.
Love is peaceful. Not oppressive.
Supportive

Or

Is it just a word that we place too much attachment to?
Is it a feeling that we give too much power?
Is it a chase for a feeling so close but so far away from us…like a dog chasing his tail
That he’ll never capture?

Love is...complex.

Love is all these things
That’s why we love and never give up on love
The constant search, renewing, redefining…

Love is…

“Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.”

-James Baldwin

“…love does not bring an end to difficulties, it gives us the strength to cope with difficulties in a constructive way…”

-bell hooks

And what is Love for you?