Dating Dwight: Marck Angel

So I thought I would do something a little different this week along with my latest episode of “Dating Dwight.” So here it is, my date with Marck Angel was defiantly a blast and it took place in one of my favorite neighborhoods in New York City (South Street Sea Port)! Please enjoy the episode and support Marck Angel his spirit is so beautiful and he is a very talented entertainer who is a man that stands by his word, not very many of those in the world. Take a look and please leave your comments. Only two more episodes left until the season finale!!! Get ready The FUTURE is always coming up with new experiences for you all!

New Feature Film Langstons: "Whats it about?"

So as many of you know I am currently in coordination with Dane Joseph, Daniel Armando, and James Peeples on a POWERFUL new film called "Langstons" and many of you have asked me "WHY?" Well today Dane and myself have decided to answer those questions for you in two videos.


"The Danger of Not Being Gay"





"Inspiring Greater Greatness"

101 w/ NewNue and Dwight Allen O'Neal Interracial Dating GONE WRONG!!!

Sometimes...

Sometimes
By: The Heart of Dwight Allen O’Neal

Sometimes my heart still aches to be near you
Sometimes my soul still cries out for you
Sometimes I think that I am finally over you
But then I open my mind to still crave you sometimes.

Sometimes it is far too easy
Sometimes it is far too hard
Sometimes I burry myself in my work
But then when my mind goes idle I still feel your presence sometimes.

Sometimes I am convinced that I am fine
Sometimes I am lacking your radiant sunshine
Sometimes I still picture our sand castle that was going to touch the sky
But then I realize that I am okay without you sometimes.

Sometimes I pretend that I have moved on without you
Sometimes I run from you when I spot you
Sometimes I feel like nothing without your love
But then I accept the absence of your motivation sometimes.

Sometimes life tells me that this feeling won’t last forever
Sometimes I think that this will get better with time
Sometimes I am successful at fighting the feelings of heartache
But then I still feel abandoned and unloved sometimes.

The Recycled Date App

Have you ever wondered how many people that you have dated or maybe even slept with have messed around with someone you know? With today’s technology it is a lot easier to track it; recently I have discovered cellular applications that you can download to your phone to find out how many people are in your area for dates. With these new applications it is like having BGC or A4A on the go and it updates itself as you commute. I personally signed up for entertainment and it is very interesting how many people live in my area that are members. With that being said the question rises “How many dates are being recycled?” When you think about the applications from that perspective you can make a hypothesis and assume that the date you probably met has met 3-4 of your neighbors within the past week and honestly you are recycled.

More questions raise in my mind from how many people are actually building authentic friendships or relationships, how much sex is happening and if they are using protection, and how many people still feel rejected when they don’t get hit up. With these applications we are also taking advantage of being shy, because you do not have to actually physically communicate with the person. Many of my close friends and now my RANDYS (Reasons Arkansas Never Did Yield(MY) Success) know that I have been practicing celibacy for a while now and it has caused me to wonder why we put so much emphasis on sex and also do we care how people view us sexually? My answer is I have always been concerned with how I perceive myself sexually; I could care less what others think I just want to make sure I make decisions that are best for me. With choices we make in life we should always practice making choices that make us happy and also understand with each choice that there is always a consequence that might be positive or negative.

Pillow Talk w/ Lonnell Williams, Curtis J., & Me!!!

It is another edition of going to bed with Lonnell Williams on 3LWTV, where I actually guest star along with Curtis J. We have a wonderful time during a threesome and we chat about defining ourselves, relationships, and what it means to be trifiling. If you want a really good laugh and see how I get down in the bedroom... HERE IS YOUR CHANCE!!!!

Phaedra and Apollo are ReDICKulous!!!

So I don’t usually do television recaps or discuss what is happening on the hottest reality shows; however I have finally jumped on board with the Real Housewives of Atlanta band wagon. On last night I really enjoyed the show and when the Southern Belle Phaedra Parks brought up how she knows of a stripper that can give himself head, I thought about the FlavaMen Blatino Award nominee ReDICKulous and during the Watch What Happens Live after show Phaedra confirmed my guess by actually confirming ReDICKulous’ name… hmmm so of course every Tom, Dick, and Dwight Allen O'Neal is hoping that this confirms that Phaedra actually met her husband Apollo Nida while at Club 708 while ReDICKulous was performing and then ReDICKulous introduced the two, because Apollo was there getting over his ex boyfriend who left him while Apollo was locked up in jail and then Apollo was over men for a while and decided to swim with real fishes for a minute, until he meets the Gaylebrity Dwight Allen O'Neal… LOL… Okay wishful thinking, but on a serious note I would like to congratulate ReDICKulous for becoming a household name… Baby you have made it, you didn’t win that FlavaMen Blatino Award… But you are now known across the country for that wonderful talent that you have… sucking your own… you know the rest.

As a sidebar I do want to add, if you know any information about Apollo swimming in the MAN SEA, because he clearly stated (uncomfortably) that he has never gotten in the man pond, please let me know. Now of course I want this information, because I am a mermaid out in the MAN SEA, hell it’s too many of the gays in the pond, but the sea is so big you need guidance. So guide me to where I can find Apollo out in this big SEA… LOL… Enjoy your week and Merry Christmas everyone!

ADDED BONUS*** 7 THINGS I noticed that I will not comment on... But 7 THINGS you can!!!

1. Phaedra Cannot Add... How was she in Law School and Apollo was in High School when they met and they are 4 years apart.

2. Body Language

3. What convicted felon can then be released from prison to set up companies? And why Apollo job sound like a hustle; another reason we turned on. Everybody wants a bad boy.

4. Did Phaedra and Apollo seem coached?

5. Who in the LGBT community does Apollo remind you of? He might have been a guest on my show... LOL

6. Do you think ReDICKulous will be performing at the Bachelorette party?

7. Do you think Lawrence's friend who he was referring to that knew Apollo was ReDICKulous???

My Date with a Matchmaker

So a few weeks ago I had a meeting with Charlie The Matchmaker so he could assist me in finding a romance. It was really funny in deciding to participate in his services, because I thought it might be weird to meet with a matchmaker; however it was really like meeting with a life coach. I originally met Charlie at a networking event I was attending for Next Magazine and when I learned about his services I agreed to meet with him to talk about either hiring his services or becoming a pool boy. After the meeting I decided that right now I would only commit to be a pool boy, because many of the questions he asked me allowed me to really reflect on what I may be seeking and had me ask myself additional questions about my Mr. Right.

If you do decide to hire a matchmaker he is excellent because he is confidential, has a great catalogue of men to choose from, and last he really does make you get real. By real I mean he asks tough questions that you cannot lie about and it makes you be honest with him and most importantly yourself. He asked me questions about my career, lifestyle, and about my past relationships. As you all know I recently told you that I was over my ex and he put me to the test and made sure that I was in a place where I was ready to meet a new love interest. I am so excited that I met with Charlie, who I may add looks like Ryan from The A-List New York, because I am able to really focus on what I am looking for in my future. At a very young age I created goals for myself and many of them are off track and I never sat down to reevaluate my future in certain areas. After my meeting with my matchmaker I was able to go home and update my personal goals and aspirations and I am very excited about the greatness that I am creating for myself, with the guidance of God of course. If you would like to find out more information about Charlie The Matchmaker you can check out his website at www.charliethematchmaker.com

Dwight's B-Boy Stance is UNCUT!

So a few years back I had the wonderful opportunity to work with Cassidy on his music video B-Boy Stance. Funny thing about working on this video is that once it aired BET and MTV would only play the uncut version at night after hours due to him calling a certain rapper gay and I had the opportunity to play that rapper’s love interest. I won’t mention that rapper’s name because lord knows I don’t need no “unit” coming to my house. Please just check out the video and leave comments, you may have already seen the video; however did not realize that it was a young Dwight dancing around in pink… LOL!

Hit Dwight Allen O'Neal for Being Gay!

So for the past few days I have urged myself not to get angry and to practice forgiveness. In life we many times experience things and we often don’t understand why, I am true testimony that things just seem to happen and there is always a reason. Many of my friends and loved ones have already heard the horrible news about my minor attack on last Wednesday and no one knows of the details; well the time you have been waiting for has finally revealed itself.

So on last Wednesday at around 5:57PM I was heading downtown on the 3 train, when I got on the last car there were about five teenage boys on the train being loud and obnoxious. Living in New York City you become immune to the way that young people act and the way that they carry on, I have seen youth curse at each other, other passengers, fight, wrestle, and everything else when riding the train or walking down the street. When I did get on the train I decided that I would sit on the opposite end of the train and read my book “The Other Side of Paradise” by Stacyann Chin, while reading my book minding my own business and not even looking in the direction of the young boys, I heard them curse at each other, laugh, talk, and wild out in New York City youth’s normal behavior. In this entire process I did not feel concerned, threatened, or frightened at all; when the train entered the 96th street station I noticed the boys were walking in my direction and the first one had a plastic poster covering (lighter than glass, but harder than regular plastic) in his hand rolled up and the next thing I knew was I was being struck by it, immediately following the first blow another individual punched me in my face, I was down instantly. When I came too the doors had closed on the train and a young passenger on the train ran to my aide.

As the young men did run off the train I did hear homophobic remarks and thought back to my recent trip to Miami when a very masculine friend of mine was ashamed to be seen with me in public due to the fashionable garments that I choose to style myself in, mind you I don’t wear women clothing; however I am a fan of v-neck shirts, skinny jeans, and accessories. Him being deep from the south he is not accustomed to men dressing fashionable and defiantly not someone as comfortable with their sexuality as I am.

Honestly I have never been very masculine and New York has just assisted in me learning to accept myself not liberate myself. I remember a conversation where my friend said that Miami is very homophobic and not like New York and I argued back that New York, London, Little Rock, Miami, LA all have people who are just ignorant, homophobia is everywhere. If you cannot deal with my clothes and they alarm you, or my effeminate personality, then you cannot deal with me, because THAT’S WHO I AM AND I AM NOT SORRY THAT I AM NOT SOME BUTCH MASCULINE ACTING MALE! Gone are the days that I will pretend to be someone I am not to satisfy others, that is not loving ME and I love ME to damn much! Loving me has not always been easy, but with soul searching I finally have learned to do so, I just pray for the young men that did this to me, because there is obviously lots of pain that they are dealing with and it made them feel big to hit a grown man and run, I hope I helped a few of their chest hairs grow in. I do forgive them for hurting me, and I pray that before it is too late that they change their thinking on how they view punks, faggots, queers, freaks, homos, or whatever other name they can come up with. I love myself for who I am and I am not changing for anyone.

Thank you to everyone who sent an email, text, instant message or phone call and for all of you who are wondering did I do anything… I did file a report. I love you all and please don’t get mad and feed into this type of behavior, put on your best drag (whatever that may be) and walk with your head high, I will not let these homophobic idiots hold me back. We are GREATER than HATE! I AM LOVE!

Get Ready to SIZZLE

Dwight Powell is doing it again! This week he presents once again the hottest circuit party in the country. This year he adds different events and draws a host of sponsors that keeps Sizzle fresh and Sizzle attendees anticipating and returning year after year. This year attendees will party from sun up to sun down beginning Thursday, May 27th until Tuesday, June 1st. Some of the new events added this year include the “Hyatt Live” where bloggers and vloggers Skorpion and Makael of The Skorpion Show, Lonnel of 3LWTV, Newnue of YoBoiNewNue.com, London of ISoLoveLondon, Tron of WhatsTheT.com, and myself Dwight Allen O'Neal will take over the Sizzle village inside the Hyatt for a live broadcast where visitors will interact with all the bloggers on a custom built Sizzle platform. The event is free and will add an extra enhancement to the Sizzle Village where Sizzlers gather to see and be seen while enjoing great music, taking in great food and drinks, and being apart of the coolest and hippest crowd. At SIZZLE LIVE comedians Leslie Jone aka Big Les and the hilarious Luenell will be in the building causing you to die of laughter. The event will be hosted by New York’s own Harmonica Sunbeam.

The Annual White Party which is being held at the host hotel Hyatt on Sunday evening and the infamous Booze Cruise are two popular events that are returning and of course the Booze Cruise is already sold out!

Each year the nightly parties at Sizzle grow larger and larger with it’s maximum club attendance over 6000 at it’s signature Sunday night event at Club Space. This year Sizzle has once again secured some of the top and world renowned nightclubs in Miami including the 42,000 sq. foot Karu n Y Nightclub, a venue that Sizzle has been trying to nab for the past 5 years, Mekka Miami formerly Metropolis (a 5 clubs in 1 venue), and The Ice Palace which will be host to a new event Dwight Powell is incorporating called “JUBILEE”. According to SizzleMiami.com, the event will be dazzled with glitter, glam, and breathtaking entertainment including showgirls donned in elaborate custom made costumes, gorgeous male trapeze acts, and aerial silk performance. Dwight Powell calls it one of Sizzle’s biggest challenges to date production wise. Two of Sizzlers favorites nightspots still remain, the infamous Space nightclub on Sunday night where Sizzlers party until 10 in the morning on the rooftop and Gloria Estefan’s Bongos Nightclub on Monday night with an all male revue.



Another popular event that returns is the Sizzle Luah which is on Saturday at the Hyatt Regency pier which over looks the Miami River. This year, Zerrick from Model City will be hosting the Luah along with authentic Hawaii drummers and fire dancers, a swimwear fashion show starring Sizzle Miami 2010 model Jared and the Men of Sizzle, as well as a hot body contest, great food, drinks, and music along with the liveliest crowd

For more information on Sizzle Miami and the festivities log on to www.sizzlemiami.com and for more details on all of the daytime and nightly events log on to www.sizzleevents.com.

Men are like Cut Flowers: Teen Runaway

As the days are getting warmer in New York City the sleeves on shirts are getting shorter or becoming none existent and the kids think it is cute to be out all night. On this past weekend I had the opportunity to meet a young gay man who thinks its cute to be homeless in the summertime; however I had to share the harsh reality with him that when Miss January rolls around you are not going to want to be in the streets.

The young man lied to me and my best friend saying that he was kicked out of his mother’s home and he had no where to stay, with all the work I do with youth and Christopher Street TV my heart went out to him and I got on the phone to attempt to locate him a place to stay for the night. As we waited to find out information on a local shelter we took him to get something to eat and that is when the truth was revealed. This young man explained to us that he was not completely honest about his situation, but that his mother did not kick him out. He just was having too much fun and did not want to go home. He went on to explain that he wanted to meet a man; I could not believe my ears. You have been sleeping on the streets for two days to meet a man who will probably break your heart in a maximum of two years (most likely two days). My best friend then gave him the quote that is trailblazing on facebook now “Boys come and go, but degrees last a lifetime.” This young man needs to focus on his studies and making something of himself. It is a sad truth, but usually your first relationship never works out, hell my first 100 guys I have ever dated never worked out, I told the young man about the last guy who stole my heart and how I really thought he was the one and how we still never got it together. Instead of worrying about a guy who is just like a cut flower, they are beautiful, smell great, but die in a couple of days, you should get a nice potted plant or in his terms a great friend, you plant those, watering them, and nurture them so that they can grow and be around for a lifetime.

I am so blessed to have several potted plants in my life that help me get through the pain of disposing my cut flowers once they die. I pray that our youth take heed to what my friend was explaining that your last few years of high school and journey through college is very important, when a man is not around you still have to be able to put clothes on your back and food on your table. Choose to love yourself more.

I Am Forever Young

Have you ever said to yourself that you want to be forever young??? Well age is nothing but a state of mind... I AM FOREVER YOUNG!!! Check out Jay-Z and Mr. Hudson video "Forever Young" the feeling that I am radiating in my life... young, sexy, and successful.




Live in Concert with Beyonce "Forever Young" at Coachella Arts and Music Festival 2010

Photographed for SIZZLE

Miami is a coastal city in southeastern Florida and is the seventh-largest metro area in the United States with over 5.4 million residents. In 2008, Miami was ranked as "America's Cleanest City" according to Forbes Magazine for its year-round good air quality, vast green spaces, clean drinking water, clean streets and city-wide recycling programs. In 2008, Miami was also ranked the 3rd-richest city in the United States and the world's 22nd-richest city in a UBS study.

On May 27 – June 1, 2010, Memorial Day Weekend, join me as I produce Dating Dwight from Miami for the 2010 Sizzle Miami Party. Miami is one of great world capitals for gay circuit parties, with a steady roster of parties held throughout the year. One event that's been gaining rapidly in popularity each year is Sizzle Miami, a five-day event held over Memorial Day Weekend and catering to gay men of color. Since 2002, Sizzle Miami includes dozens of wild parties - its success has led promoters to bill it "America's most celebrated and anticipated black gay event." I had the wonderful opportunity to sit down with Jerry Boles and chat with one of the power houses who assists in presenting this event and who is the infamous photographer known for capturing the faces of the beautiful Sizzle Models and many other works of art that you have probably seen far and wide. We begin discussing his own photography business and finished off with the latest Sizzle Miami dish.

1. What made you decide to explore photography? Photography manifests from my former days in the modeling, beauty and fashion industry. After serving my time on the stage and in several movies, and even running my own Modeling Production House back in Chicago, I needed something that was more challenging. I have always enjoyed photography, especially high fashion photography. Some years ago I met a photographer by name of Antonella Pizzoli who was from Rome, Italy. She allowed me to sit in on photo sessions and ask questions while also learning how to work the camera. Although, she gave me the initial start, there are so many other photographers that have offered me advice, techniques and some times trade secrets.

2. What direction is photography going in the future? Is it influencing your work? I don’t think you can put a trend on photography. There are many trends in “post production” as it relates to Photo-Shop and creating what we call digital formatting in post production from a graphic artist point view. Photography is like DNA. You find some variance in each photograph from each photographer photographing the same subject.

3. What has been one of your most memorable photography experiences? That is a hard question because every photo-session is unique at that moment. Memorable to me is the stories behind the photo sessions. Some of the people I have photographed are not models but may have been through something in their lives. Being able to photograph those individuals and capture the beauty of their souls is very powerful

4. What publications have you shot for? My work has appeared in magazines, newspapers, billboards around the World. I couldn’t begin to name the numerous of publications where Jerry Boles Photography was featured in. I do owe a lot of gratitude to Dwight Powell former CEO of CLIK Magazine as it is one of the many magazines where you would see Jerry Boles Photography almost in every issue.

5. What photographer’s work do you get inspiration from? Wow…I look at many photographers work almost every day and all of them inspire me some sort of crazy way. However, there are people in my early days that “WOW” me with their work, Victor Skrebneski Photography (Lord & Taylor) Bob Frame (Marshall Fields Department Stores Chicago) Francesso Scavullo (For Cosmopolitan Magazine and who have also shot Elizabeth Taylor, and Grace Kelly), Antonella Pizolli (the lady that inspired me to take on this photography). To me these photographers were my first inspiration into the industry and I would gaze at their work for hours at time.

6. Do you do all the photography for Sizzle Miami? 99% of all the photographs for Sizzle Miami since 2005 were from my camera lenses and that includes the Sizzle Models.

7. How do you select the face of the Sizzle Miami campaigns? Selecting the faces to represent Sizzle Miami is a challenging process, especially with the Male aspect. We try to find someone during the Sizzle Miami Week, which would best represent Sizzle for the following year. Representing Sizzle Miami is position we feel, requires Professionalism, Great Attitude, Mannerism and the look of a Professional Model.

8. What other role(s) do you play with Sizzle Miami? I have had the opportunity to incorporate some of my other skills within the Sizzle Miami Family. I bring 15 years in Catering, Event Planning and Productions with 5 years in Special Security Details and Body Guard Services. Those combined experiences allow me to serve in many capacities before, during and after Sizzle.

9. What is one of the largest challenges you face in preparing for Sizzle Miami? The challenge we face every year for Sizzle is making sure our guests have a great experience. That is our number one concern.

10. What are some exciting things that you are working on for Sizzle Miami in 2010? This year we added the Bloggers Café and I think this is so unique because it resembled the Oscars or an event where you have the news reporters interviewing the guests as they arrive and during a big event. It is going be interesting to see and hear what our Guest’s expectations, and their experiences about Sizzle Miami. It is also going to be interesting to hear the Blogger’s perspectives in their experiences as well. The White Party has grown over the year and it is certainly an event that our guests are excited to attend. We meet with the hotel to select a great menu, and exciting entertainment. The Booze Cruise is another event that we started small in the beginning but have grown to a bigger and memorable event during the Sizzle Miami Week. I must stress to our new guests and even many regulars who have not participated, in getting their tickets for the Booze Cruise. Last year we secured two large boats that had three levels and it explored the waters off the coast of Miami. The Sizzle Her for the Ladies and the Sizzle Him for the Men and I tell you the kids got their life. All I can tell you is that you had to be there to experience it.

11. What would be the wisest investment for a sizzler to purchase for Memorial Day weekend? The wise investment is to secure your room and airline ticket if you flying or reserve your car if you are driving and not wait on your “FRIENDS” who promised they are going to Sizzle, but for some unfortunate reason(s) your ‘friend(s) had to change his plans. I hear this very often from people who were set to come but “something came up” with another one of their friends that ruined their chances to be in Miami.

12.Is Sizzle Miami all work for the crew? Or do you all get the chance to play too? Dwight Powell, the CEO of Sizzle Miami, is the first to tell you that we are not there to enjoy Sizzle as if it was vacation time, we are there to make sure our GUESTS have a SAFE, Exciting and wonderful experience. We put in lots of hours during that week and our staff works tirelessly to make sure every event is 110% to our expectations. So, there is no room for play, we are serious about fun and we serious about are guests enjoying just that “FUN.”

I am raising 30K in 30 Days

Today was an interesting day. I had a two hour session with my spiritual adviser and some of the things that he told me were unbelievable. During our session he told me that this month would stretch me beyond my comfort zone. When I asked him to continue, he went on to say that I would be coming into a large sum of money in a short period of time. Normally, I don't dwell on my conversations about money, but this time was different. Without me telling him that I had two business partners joining me in raising thirty thousand dollars, he stressed that I should, along with my long time right hand man, should really hit the ground running because this opportunity will afford me to do some of the charity work that I long to do. I sat quiet and in a state of disbelief.


After my session, I sat down to meditate as instructed. I meditated for thirty minutes holding on to my gratitude journal and focusing on the positive things that happened for me this week. It was initially difficult to focus, because it was a tough week. I unfortunately had a number of naysayers emailing and calling saying that what I was up to was impossible. I refuse to believe that. My journey has been a challenging one and I do not believe in the word 'no'. If I allowed every 'no' to keep me from moving forward, I wouldn't get anywhere. In shifting my outlook and staying positive, I have had to rid myself of certain people who were either talking about how broke they were or how impossible it was to live during this recession. What recession? It only exists because people allow it to. We are being tested to come up with alternatives to generating for ourselves. We MUST use our creativity and our minds to grow from this.


I shared parts of my session with my business partners and they too were blown away. So, I am claiming that this week, we will aggressively put our gears in motion and continue raising toward our goal.

Find out more at Dating Dwight The Series Blog

What'll I Do Now That I Am Single- Part 5

Date Hunt!

Now the dating game is kind of like job hunting. One thing I have always learned about a job hunt is you dress for success, the same goes for dating. Ladies and Gents you will attract the kind of man or woman that you may want based on what you are wearing. When I am seeking a potential date, the first thing I notice about them is their outfit, then their face, body, and I won’t tell you the last thing (don’t want you to look at me differently). So make sure that you dress for success if you want that businessman dress like an individual that the businessman would want around him, if you want to date a woman that can name all fifty states then dress in a way that will attract her. So before going to these different places make sure your outer appearance matches your type. I for one cannot see myself with a Steve or Murtal Urkel, take off those high waters and loosen up that belt. So now let’s go out on a night on the town or a day on the town to meet that special someone. This is the fun part, now when reading this you will probably think that I am crazy, well I am a Capricorn and we are known for being a little unsettled. But you have to do what you have to do to get that boo, and while you are single this is when you take risk and have fun.

So let’s say you want to meet a doctor? What would you need to do, well one of my favorite scenes in a movie is in “Memoirs of a Geisha,” well she wanted to get a doctor interested in her so the beautiful Geisha’s mentor cut her leg and rushed her right over to the doctor’s office. Long story short, she got her doctor. Now I am not saying go out and cut yourself or get hit by a bus, however you might want to walk by the local hospital on your way to work one morning (looking good of course) or even better volunteer at the hospital once or twice a month. If you want something you have to make yourself accessible to it, this does not mean go there with the intent of getting a doctor, however trust that you are not going to meet that doctor up the block hanging out with his boys or in the park skateboarding all day with his beat up Vans on. As for going out it is nothing wrong with meeting someone at a bar, lounge, or night club; however be prepared for however you meet this person that may be something they do quite often. If you met me in a club there is a great chance I may be a frequent club attendee. My mother has always told me that I will meet a good woman at church, this could work as well. You would be surprised how many singles actually go to church, however don’t let church automatically cause you to be able to analyze their character. You can go to an amazing restaurant where the food is splendid, but that does not mean that everything in the restaurant is good or good for you, catch my drift? Also I have learned that a great way of meeting people is going to different events. Singles should defiantly try going to a friends opening of a play, an art gallery, or a movie premier this is a great way to meet someone in a cultural setting and if you are into these things as well, guess what you have something in common.

What'll I Do Now That I Am Single- Part 4

They're Here!

So throughout the entire process of being single, the only relationship you are in is the one with yourself and guess what, you will not get jealous if you decide to date other people. Now by dating I am very old school with my definition, so what I mean is hanging out and getting to know an individual who may potentially become that special someone. Now one main thing I run into time and time again with my friends is where do you find a good man or woman? Now from one of my really dear friends I learned a lot, he explained to me that romance always happens when you are not looking. Now I have been hearing this for years and I thought I really had come to terms with that, so I would pretend like I wasn’t looking however I would never find anyone. Well it is apparent what the issue is there, I was still looking. So my advice to you is “STOP LOOKING!” The minute you stop doing this, potentials will start falling from the sky.

Now you may not be looking for that special someone just yet, you might want to have fun, well if that’s you go out and be free. If you are a free spirit though, you must be careful. One thing that I a have learned in the dating game is that you cannot play with other’s feelings or emotions. Many times you may not be interested in someone as much as they are interested in you, you are just having fun with them for the time being and you really don’t see any potential for this person in the way that they view you and you continue to play with their heart, that’s not right. Make sure that those that you are playing with only see this as fun as well. We will touch on this much later though, for now I am going to expose to you where you can find these people to keep YOU having fun.

What'll I Do Now That I Am Single- Part 3

MEET MY FRIEND FRIEND

So now that you are dating yourself many times you may have an empty feeling on the inside, I can only assume that you don’t like something about being alone and you must find out what it is that you don’t like about it. Someone once told me that you cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with and I have learned that statement is very true. Many times we think that we cannot get some of the benefits that a relationship has if you are not in one and that’s the emptiness. Well I am here to argue the difference, because if you list the things that you do with a companion there are only a few things you need someone else for and I have a solution to that too. I introduce to you the friend friend, yes I said it a friend friend is not a regular friend and you all know this. It is a friend with benefits. Now you can decide what those benefits are, it could be companionship, someone to make you laugh, financial advancements, or sex you decide and trust I will not judge. Now with the friend friend keeping you busy we can work on filling this void and most likely your void is coming from insecurities that you may have within yourself.

One way to get over YOUR insecurities is to make a list of all the things that you like about YOURSELF, these things can range from goals you achieved to actual physical attributes that you have. By recognizing things that you appreciate about yourself you are gradually building your self-esteem. You can also fill this void by doing things that you enjoy; in addition you can learn or start doing new hobbies that may strike interest in you. These are all examples of things that will fill your emptiness. Look at you dating yourself and enjoying your friend friend, I am so proud of you! Happy Valentine's Day!

What'll I Do Now That I Am Single - Part 2

Make Me Whole

There are some people that need someone in their life to make them feel whole, why is that? If you need someone with you to fill a void then I suggest some self help techniques to assist in filling this void other than a person, because no one can make you happy with yourself, but yourself. 

I am a very busy individual who loves companionship. I felt as though I wasn’t cut out for a relationship at one point.  Each person that I met ended in disaster and I did not understand why. Then finally my dream came true and I met someone that filled my entire being and I felt whole, my career was on track and so was my love life. Then my partner told me that the relationship felt empty and that I was far too busy for this romance we had created. What do you think I did? Many probably think that I chose the relationship and lived happily ever after. Well I didn’t, I chose to analyze this romance we had created and I saw it was not healthy. 

In relationships there are certain things that should be held high one being time, another being commitment. Our relationship was missing that, I had taken advantage of our union and took it for granted, the reason I chose not to work on fixing what we had was because I wanted to keep this special person in my life as a friend and not someone that I may one day resent, because of sacrificing other things that seemed important to me. Deep down in my heart I believe that our hearts will reconnect when the timing is appropriate. After the split one major thing I noticed was in our time apart I felt like I was incomplete and empty. I felt like I could not function without my lover in my life. Uh oh, I had become dependent; this frightened me and had to figure out what to do. Now you may be saying that this is what you are suppose to have a form of dependence in a relationship and I am not saying that I disagree, but what is wrong with saving this form of dependence for marriage. A relationship that is under 3 years, I believe that it is far too soon to be dependent on another individual. This is one thing that will defiantly end your relationship. How could I depend so heavily on someone I had only been with for less than a year?

So many times in relationships we only think about ourselves once the warranty expires, and one reason we do that is because we are only ready for a relationship with ME, there is that word again you can’t seem to escape it can you. Well I guess because you are only ready to date yourself right now, so let the dating begin. This is the month that we celebrate love, dating, and matters of the heart, so why not start with yourself?

What'll I do now that I am SINGLE

Gone is the romance that was so divine tis’ broken and cannot be mended… What’ll I do when you are far away and I am blue what’ll do? These are classic words from a classic song, the under line text is basically saying welcome to being single. Now I have heard mixed reviews on what it is like to be single some think that being single is the greatest part of your life and then others think that it’s the worst feeling in the world. Why is it that so many people feel so different about the state of being single? If we go back to the lyrics from the song “What will I do,” we will discover what the issue is, you must figure out what you will do during this time of being "alone."

Now that you are absent from a relationship don’t feel like you are missing out on all the perks. You still can have romance, companionship, and fun without the relationship. One thing I have learned to do is become one with me. In my years of life I learned that the best way to get to know someone is going out of town on a trip with them or just some plain old alone time of just the two of you. The same goes for getting to know you, now I know you are probably thinking I know me, however do you really? I thought I knew myself, but I really didn’t. When you are single this is the perfect time to take advantage of getting to know YOU, once getting to know YOU, YOU will discover new and exciting things about yourself. Now as you are reading this you are probably thinking I will also discover what type of person I want to date too. Now this is one of the first things we do when we get out of a relationship and also when we first started dating. We make this list of what we are looking for, now that is a great thing to do, however we are not there yet. I want you to clear your mind of a partner at this point; I really want you to focus on YOU. Are you focused on YOU as the person? If so this is where you decide what you like to do for fun, places you want to see, new career options you may want for yourself, also work on your outer appearance, go and buy that new outfit you have been eying, and I do love a spa date with ME. Notice that new word that popped up? In the affair with Me, Myself, and I you are learning that right now it is all about ME. Who is me? Me is you and you are me, and this first step of figuring out what to do while that partner is absent is all up to you or ME.