Why Are So Many Young Gay Men Lost?

I thought I was going to avoid talking about something like this, but a recent incident just convinced me to do it.

One night, I was in the middle of the city, getting ready to walk inside this building, which held this event that I had to attend. All of a sudden, I ran into this old friend of mine outside of the building. He just happened to be strolling down the street.

I went up to see how he was doing. Without a simple greeting, he asked me if I knew this person he is dating. I told him I did. The guy is my ex-boyfriend, who I have not seen in over three years. I was instantly shocked on how he knew my ex. I have not seen him or spoke about him for that long. It wasn't a good relationship. It was a terrible on-off relationship that lasted for two years. The best thing I did was remove him from my life.

He revealed to me that my ex is his current boyfriend. My guard was already up. This boy is fifteen years old and my ex is twenty-five. They've been dating for three days and he said he's in love with him. When I asked him how much, he said they have been thinking about having bareback sex from now on.

I stopped talking to him, gave the security guard my pass, and entered the event. I was halfway focused on the entire event. I couldn't stop thinking about the conversation I had with that boy. It brought up a wide range of topics surrounding the gay community. I remember people calling me one of the lucky ones.  Now that I think about it, they're kind of right.

It's not a big secret. The gay community is still a work in progress. Even though we are fighting for our rights, we have to fix ourselves as well. These young gay men are so lost in this world due to the nonacceptance of family and friends, they go after numerous older men, hoping that they would found love. Little do they know they're expectations is going to bite them in the butt.

They're sexual actions are overshadowing their image as well. Admittingly, men loves sex. We talk about it and act it out all the time. So when it comes to two men dating, of course it's twice as crazy. However, there are some gay men who's sexual actions are overshadowing them as a person due to the fact that they think sex can solve everything. Little do they know that it can break a few things in the process.

The rise of HIV/AIDS is still at a high rate. It's almost as if it's been ignored. Everyone knows what will happen if you have unprotected sex. But it's almost like people don't care. They're afraid that if they don't have bareback sex, they'll lose they're lover. Eventually, they're going to have to realize that they're health is more important than they're lover.

Not only that, but it's also the terrible decline in education. I know that the gay community isn't the only place where this is occurring, but you see that a bunch. It's hard to have a normal conversation when you hear a cuss word coming out in every sentence. It becomes very uncomfortable and rubs you the wrong way.

These are just a few examples of what I see happening. I believe that if we want to make a change, we should start with the young audience. After all, our future is going to be in their hands soon. Even though we are still fighting for our rights, the one thing we should do is fix the problems that is going on in our community.

Hit Dwight Allen O'Neal for Being Gay!

So for the past few days I have urged myself not to get angry and to practice forgiveness. In life we many times experience things and we often don’t understand why, I am true testimony that things just seem to happen and there is always a reason. Many of my friends and loved ones have already heard the horrible news about my minor attack on last Wednesday and no one knows of the details; well the time you have been waiting for has finally revealed itself.

So on last Wednesday at around 5:57PM I was heading downtown on the 3 train, when I got on the last car there were about five teenage boys on the train being loud and obnoxious. Living in New York City you become immune to the way that young people act and the way that they carry on, I have seen youth curse at each other, other passengers, fight, wrestle, and everything else when riding the train or walking down the street. When I did get on the train I decided that I would sit on the opposite end of the train and read my book “The Other Side of Paradise” by Stacyann Chin, while reading my book minding my own business and not even looking in the direction of the young boys, I heard them curse at each other, laugh, talk, and wild out in New York City youth’s normal behavior. In this entire process I did not feel concerned, threatened, or frightened at all; when the train entered the 96th street station I noticed the boys were walking in my direction and the first one had a plastic poster covering (lighter than glass, but harder than regular plastic) in his hand rolled up and the next thing I knew was I was being struck by it, immediately following the first blow another individual punched me in my face, I was down instantly. When I came too the doors had closed on the train and a young passenger on the train ran to my aide.

As the young men did run off the train I did hear homophobic remarks and thought back to my recent trip to Miami when a very masculine friend of mine was ashamed to be seen with me in public due to the fashionable garments that I choose to style myself in, mind you I don’t wear women clothing; however I am a fan of v-neck shirts, skinny jeans, and accessories. Him being deep from the south he is not accustomed to men dressing fashionable and defiantly not someone as comfortable with their sexuality as I am.

Honestly I have never been very masculine and New York has just assisted in me learning to accept myself not liberate myself. I remember a conversation where my friend said that Miami is very homophobic and not like New York and I argued back that New York, London, Little Rock, Miami, LA all have people who are just ignorant, homophobia is everywhere. If you cannot deal with my clothes and they alarm you, or my effeminate personality, then you cannot deal with me, because THAT’S WHO I AM AND I AM NOT SORRY THAT I AM NOT SOME BUTCH MASCULINE ACTING MALE! Gone are the days that I will pretend to be someone I am not to satisfy others, that is not loving ME and I love ME to damn much! Loving me has not always been easy, but with soul searching I finally have learned to do so, I just pray for the young men that did this to me, because there is obviously lots of pain that they are dealing with and it made them feel big to hit a grown man and run, I hope I helped a few of their chest hairs grow in. I do forgive them for hurting me, and I pray that before it is too late that they change their thinking on how they view punks, faggots, queers, freaks, homos, or whatever other name they can come up with. I love myself for who I am and I am not changing for anyone.

Thank you to everyone who sent an email, text, instant message or phone call and for all of you who are wondering did I do anything… I did file a report. I love you all and please don’t get mad and feed into this type of behavior, put on your best drag (whatever that may be) and walk with your head high, I will not let these homophobic idiots hold me back. We are GREATER than HATE! I AM LOVE!

Notes from Nathan: Dear Oprah

ust over a year ago, I spent two months in one of my favorite parts of the world, Cape Town, South Africa.  While in Cape Town, I produced my very first docu-real-short film.  The film is called Dear Oprah.  At the time, I was blessed with amazing resources that allowed me to see my dream come to reality.  I was connected to some of South Africa's heavy hitters, from an events facilitation company owner to the owner of Cape Town's number one pizza chain to boards of directors of non-profit organizations.  Bottom line is that it all started with an idea to make a difference in the lives of young adults.

Upon my return to America, I had very high hopes for this little film.  I just knew that I would get full support from my friends and family in getting this film in front of Oprah Winfrey.  A campaign was created to have people email her people, a trailer was posted online and many emails were sent out seeking support.  After a number of tries, I grew defeated and put the film on the back burner.  It has since collected dust in my room.

As I comb the streets of New York City,  I often times see young boys chasing girls and young girls toting babies before they have finished high school.  I ask myself, where is the leadership and have I given up.  I concluded that I had given up.  I had lost my sense of purpose.  My mission in life is to have a positive impact on the leaders of tomorrow and to show them that they are leaders TODAY!  My commitment has been resuscitated and I am ready to take on my challenge with new passion and power.

On March 4th, I will be delivering Dear Oprah as an online web series.  The series will air in five parts and new episodes will appear either once a month or when there are 2000 views, so whichever comes first.  I hope to get as many views as possible so please tell everyone you know to tune in.

Create a Sevenly day!