Tuesday, January 4, 2011

My Princess Boy

By Bruce Baker

Tampa Bay Natural Health Examiner

My Princess Boy is a book that began from one parent's wish to deal with her own struggles to accept her child from taking on gay-like behavior at an early age. Now, it is part of a national conversation that tries to determine if the behavior is healthy or the reinforcement is part of a child's natural health.

Cheryl Kilodavis is fortunate to have a loving husband, a home of her own, and several children to complete the picture of the American Dream. However, for one of her kids, a quiet storm developed months ago when she was forced to contend with a delicate issue. To her chagrin, little Dyson, 5, was showing signs of identifying more with girls instead of his peer group. This becomes the true test on what a person's inner beliefs are despite what the persona shows.

Young Dyson asked her during Halloween if he could wear a bright pink dress. He wanted become a princess boy, not only during Halloween; he actually enjoyed wearing dresses and bright pink and red colors. Kilodavis became outraged and pushed back on this type of taboo behavior as she was raised to denounce it, for fear that it does not fit the rules of society-at-large.

To her astonishment, her husband embraced the idea and just dismissed it as a child who is trying to explore his surroundings. He reasoned that to punish the child for his choices robbed him of his self-worth. Faced with the growing pressure to accept her princess boy, Kilodavis published a journal called, My Princess Boy as a means to cope with her mounting anxiety about how to deal with the revelation.

Over time, she realized that the child she raised is taking cues from her and that she should move to a point of acceptance in order for young Dyson to have a naturally healthy upbringing with parents who did not admonish him for his choices.

Soon, a major publisher discovered how well the topic would impact the mainstream, and awarded the mother turned author a contract. She soon realized the larger message in My Princess Boy is one of acceptance despite the harsh criticisms the public has to offer.

What are your thoughts? Is it naturally healthy to allow a child to cross genders at an early age? What impact does the decision one makes for their child have on the mental health of the child later?

Here's a simple answer to coping with a child who may present gay/lesbian tendencies: According to Charlotte J. Patterson, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Virginia, she recommends that you should desperately try to separate your immediate reaction from the love of your child. It makes a difference in how their natural health is impacted.

Do you know a little My Princess Boy?

1 comment:

Bobbi said...

Growing up in Bklyn, I had a male friend who dressed in girls clothing from the time he was 7. West Indians are very direct ppl and are prone to giving unwanted but accurate nicknames. A dark complected person was called 'Blackie'; a heavy set boy, 'Fatty'! So when family & friends referred to him as 'Girly Shirley', no one blinked ann eye and it didn't seem to bother him.




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