Monday, May 3, 2010

Men are like Cut Flowers: Teen Runaway

As the days are getting warmer in New York City the sleeves on shirts are getting shorter or becoming none existent and the kids think it is cute to be out all night. On this past weekend I had the opportunity to meet a young gay man who thinks its cute to be homeless in the summertime; however I had to share the harsh reality with him that when Miss January rolls around you are not going to want to be in the streets.

The young man lied to me and my best friend saying that he was kicked out of his mother’s home and he had no where to stay, with all the work I do with youth and Christopher Street TV my heart went out to him and I got on the phone to attempt to locate him a place to stay for the night. As we waited to find out information on a local shelter we took him to get something to eat and that is when the truth was revealed. This young man explained to us that he was not completely honest about his situation, but that his mother did not kick him out. He just was having too much fun and did not want to go home. He went on to explain that he wanted to meet a man; I could not believe my ears. You have been sleeping on the streets for two days to meet a man who will probably break your heart in a maximum of two years (most likely two days). My best friend then gave him the quote that is trailblazing on facebook now “Boys come and go, but degrees last a lifetime.” This young man needs to focus on his studies and making something of himself. It is a sad truth, but usually your first relationship never works out, hell my first 100 guys I have ever dated never worked out, I told the young man about the last guy who stole my heart and how I really thought he was the one and how we still never got it together. Instead of worrying about a guy who is just like a cut flower, they are beautiful, smell great, but die in a couple of days, you should get a nice potted plant or in his terms a great friend, you plant those, watering them, and nurture them so that they can grow and be around for a lifetime.

I am so blessed to have several potted plants in my life that help me get through the pain of disposing my cut flowers once they die. I pray that our youth take heed to what my friend was explaining that your last few years of high school and journey through college is very important, when a man is not around you still have to be able to put clothes on your back and food on your table. Choose to love yourself more.


Bernie said...

Who among us has not wanted to be wanted by someone? I am considerably older than that teenager, but the desire never goes away. And yet, this young man's situation seems sadly out of proportion with reality.

"Running away from home to find a man." Hmmm... I suspect he just might find one, but one who will take advantage of such profound neediness. Desperation is never sexy, while confidence is, so your suggestion that he focus on the more important things in life, like his education and future, was spot on. Let's hope he listened.

Corey said...

He lied (or told a half-truth)the first time about his mother kicking him out. It's a possibility that he's still not being exactly forthcoming and truthful. On one hand, it's obvious something 'ain't right' at home, but why did he have to leave to find a MAN? The one thing that he MAY have told the truth about is "having too much fun to go back home." Perhaps there are rules at home that he doesn't want to adhere to? Maybe he hates any kind of authority because he's used to NOT having any? Leaving home (and sleeping on the streets)like that just to find a man just doesn't sound right to me!

I hope you read him the Riot Act! The danger that he's willingly putting himself in is not cute, either! It's kind of insulting when there are so many homeless youth out there who have never been loved for being different, gotten kicked out and are now disowned and discarded - and would now APPRECIATE that helping hand.

And if he's even half-way attractive, I'm sure he'll meet THAT MAN before long except it WON'T be the man of his DREAMS but of his nightmares! But I'm sure there's more to this young man than meets the eye. He sounds very crafty to me - as young men who run away, and enjoy hanging in the streets so much as not to go back home OFTEN ARE!

Jasan (New York) said...

The fact that this young man is sleeping on or rather spends all his time on the streets suggests to me that there is something seriously wrong at what he might have previously called home. That you believed him when he turned around and changed his story suggests some naiveté on your part.

I have a feeling he may have changed his story to avoid you prying further. I would hate for the needs of these "street kids" to be sidelined by the idea that some choose to stay away from home purely to hang out and have fun. The street kids who are homeless and hang out on Christopher street include vulnerable, confused youth with serious issues, including rape victims, abused kids, victims of domestic violence etc who need better more comprehensive services. The "I can handle myself" attitude of many black men makes seeking help unfashionable, and we need to somehow get past those societal and self-imposed barriers.




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