Thursday, May 10, 2012

I'm Smart In Friendships, But A Rookie In Relationships

I think it's something that a few of us aren't honest about. I'm not afraid to admit it. It's all apart of the journey. I'm smart in friendships, but still a rookie when it comes to relationships.

It's quite hard for some people to hear that from someone like me. When they look at me, they see a person who is incredibly talented, intelligent beyond his years, and has an incredibly bright future ahead of him. They see me receiving accolades from various things ranging from my creative work to philanthropy projects. All of those visions come from just looking at me. So it shocks people when I tell them that I don't have a boyfriend.

Well I hate to break it to everyone. It's not always that easy.

Growing up, my main goal in life was to look for people that would give me true love and acceptance. I never really aimed that towards relationships at that time. It was always friendships. When you're an outcast in school and the black sheep in your entire family, it becomes somewhat of an obligation to find true friendships. So that's what I did. I was looking for friends to love me for who I am. This was my life's mission. 

Now that I've managed to maintain wonderful friendships, this dating thing is kind of still new to me. Even though I've been in six relationships from ages 14-19, I still feel like a rookie. I think that's partially why each of those relationships were on and off. I didn't want to go towards new people. I wanted to stay in my circle and be with the people I knew personally. Of course, I've realized that it's not a good idea. When it's over, it's over.

It's been a year and a half that I've been single, which is something I haven't done since I started dating when I was fourteen. The time I've spent by myself made reevaluate my life and I came to this conclusion when it comes to relationships. I'm still interested in dating. I was born in the fall, the most romantic season of the year. But I'm not afraid to admit that I'm a little scared and incredibly nervous about meeting someone.

1 comment:

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