I don't think of high school that much. The memories of those four years are slipping away by the minute. It's kind of weird when you think about it. People say that high school is supposed to scar you for life whether it's good or bad. And yet, here I am, not really affected by high school.
All I remember is being that silent, still kind, shy person that was hardly talking to anyone. I was very private about my life due to my dysfunctional family, being bullied because I was the guy who was into technology and glee club instead of sports, and the struggle to accept my sexuality. I wasn't open about my life at all. It was a very difficult time.
I was not only on a journey towards accepting myself, but also looking for true friendships and true love. Everybody knows that when you break up with someone in high school, it feels like the end of the world. I sure had my share of those relationships and went through the emotions. The same thing applies to friendships.
Then once graduation was slowly approaching, I began to change. It all started when I sat down in a chair and said to myself "Do you love yourself? Do you accept everything about yourself as a gay man who loves glee club and computers? And do you give a damn about what others think about you?"
It was then that I became the person I am now. I am now this confident, calm, kind person who is completely open about his life. I am letting out all of this large amount of natural energy every day. I am now not afraid to tell people my stories. I even make a living writing and talking about my funny life. Ain't that a coincidence?
By the time graduation even came, everyone knew that I was different. I was still kind and friendly to everyone, but they knew I had this fiery temper if you pushed my buttons to the limit. I can deal with a lot of things. I have tough skin and a large amount of patience. However, if I am pushed to the max (and I'm talking about days of dealing with crap), that's when I explode. And back in school, if I exploded, everyone noticed it. My balls grew bigger and I knew how to use them.
When I look back at the person I was, I don't even see him anymore. He is fading away completely. I always thought that I would still be that same person. Not the depressed man, but the quiet, private person who wouldn't want to talk to anybody about his life. The only thing that's the same about me is that I'm still the shy type. I can't help it. It's stuck with me.