In life, there are so many things that we have to learn. You could be eighty years old and still haven’t learned half of what’s going on in life. Unless you are the next Albert Einstein, you have a long way to go. Intelligence is a wonderful thing. Learning different things is an amazing adventure. You are fueling your brain with more stuff every single day. Whether you are using Wikipedia on the computer, watching a variety of shows on television, or reading different types of literature, you are learning something new every single day.
Some of them may be things you might not need in your everyday life. Just consider extra stuff to put in your memory box. It might come in handy when your college professor gives you a pop quiz, and there is that one question you know you haven’t in class, but you read about it somewhere else. But why is it that knowing about so many things ends up being a turn off for someone who used to be interested in dating you.
Growing up, I was book smart. I was a shy individual that did nothing but stay focused on my school work and go straight home to do my homework. If I wasn’t doing homework, I would be on the computer researching something that was interesting to me. I was filling my brain up. Sometimes, it was too much. I wasn’t ashamed being someone who was book smart and not street smart. That’s something I’m still adjusting to right now.
But when it came to dating I noticed something very odd was going on. The men I was with winded up being people that was turned off by my intelligence. Whenever I said big words like “reciprocal” or “surreptitious” they would look the other way at me, and just walk away. They were turned on by my looks, but my knowledge was a different story. No matter what I was talking about; politics, sports, authors, entertainment, they were off by it.
One of them men said to me “You know what Roque, I really like you. You are an attractive young man who I would sleep with in a second. But can you do one thing for me? When you hang out with me, adjust your vocabulary. Talk to me like a normal person. I don’t want you upstaging me with that out of this world brain of yours. Also, change your looks. I don't want to be walking around with a nerd. I want to be walking around with a (N word). Act like a real black gay male.”
In the beginning, I did do that. I didn’t talk the way I used to talk. I was saying things that he said a “normal” person would say. The N word was popping out of my mouth like crazy, which is a word that I don't say or use at all. To be honest, I don't like being around people that uses it all the time. They try to turn my clothes into a more urban style rather than the casual and conservative style I was wearing. There was a moment when I was about to sag my pants for a week.
But after a while, I realized this was so stupid. Why is it that my intelligence is not something you are comfortable with? You should be happy that you have a smart person with you. I stopped calling him the very next day and moved on with my life.
Once I began reflecting on that situation, I realized that this has been going simultaneously. For some reason, people think that being gay and intelligent is not a good combination. It’s something that shouldn’t exist. After that situation, I couldn’t help but wonder. Since when is being gay and intelligent a complete turnoff?