Thursday, May 6, 2010

It Is What It Is Pt. 4 by Karen Minors

     So, how did I discover that Joaquin was not the one for me? Wow, I was blinded. How could I have not known? It was all around me and it was so obvious to my best friend Milan and my aunt Rocsi. I was just not ready to let go. The writing was on the wall, the red flags were there, but I was afraid of being by myself. I wanted a man to love me and I desired to be a wife and a mother. One of the many deal breakers with us was the fact that Joaquin did not want any more children. He finally admitted it after we had been together for three years. I was so upset that I cried for two days straight and I didn’t take his phone calls. 
     I was devastated. I thought maybe he would change his mind later on. My aunt Rocsi prayed with me, and Milan came over and just sat with me. She invited me to join her Singles Ministry at her church and challenged me to their fast. I agreed to do it, and I gained so much strength. The Lord spoke to me, and I knew I had to give up my relationship with Joaquin. For a solid month, I did not see him, and when we talked on the phone, it was very brief. I told him of my spiritual quest, and he accepted it at first. When he realized he wouldn’t be getting his freak on, he blew up and said something about “being tired of waiting for you to go through your spiritual thang.” I didn’t want to accept the fact that I would be alone at first, but my spiritual growth and self worth meant so much more to me. But even after all my praying and fasting, I still couldn’t let him go.

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