Is The Best Friend Allowed To Date?

Everyone has that best friend in their life. It's that person that does everything for you? He/She is the first person you call at three o'clock in the morning. Shockingly, they will answer the phone. If you have a friend like that you are a lucky person.

They have been in your life for the longest. But the one thing I've noticed is that the best friend is hardly in a relationship due to the fact that they current relationship he/she deals with is the one with the best friend. Whenever the best friend gets out of a relationship, you are there to heal the wounds and telling them to move on. You treat your role as the best friend as if it is a career.

Of course it isn't a career, but you begin to think it is because you spend more time with them than you with your own life. Then it finally reaches a point when your life surrounds it completely. Once it's finally time for you to start dating it's very difficult.

After realizing this with not only others, but my own personal and professional life, it got me thinking.

Is the best friend allowed to date when their lives surrounds being the true companion?

Aren't You Tired Of Being The Caller?

I remember writing a post many months ago about making the call to your best friends. I considered it a wonderful thing to do if you want to maintain your friendship. You don't have to wait for the other person, so that things can progress. If one of you guys aren't calling each other, you have to take action to call the other person. It's time to stop waiting and take action.

But doesn't there come a time when you've done dialing?

I am one of those people who calls his friends all the time. I'm a friendaholic. I care about my friends a lot, and I want to keep our friendship strong and together forever. It's incredibly important to me. But after making the call numerous times, I'm starting to see a pattern. I call my friends and my don't friends call me. Whenever I ask them why they haven't called me back, they always respond by saying "I was waiting for you to do that."

It's like they automatically put me on this platform and are secretly calling me "The Caller", which is someone you wait for to call you. It's never vice-versa. I'm the person that they expect to dial their numbers on my cell phone and call them.

I don't know about you, but I consider it ridiculous. Why do I have to be the caller? Why don't you call me? Dial me for my love the same way I do when it comes to you. 

I love my friends, but there comes a time when I'm done calling them. I want them to start calling me instead of me being the primary dialer. Aren't you tired of the same thing?

Is The Person You Hate Actually The Person You Like?

It's quite an unusual realization. You might think at first glance that this doesn't happen in real life. Then once you pay close attention you realize that this unusual part of life that actually happens.

Do you remember that person you couldn't stand in the beginning. I'm talking about that person that did his/her best to get under your skin. Even if you are a calm person, there is just something about that person that rubs you the wrong way.

In the beginning, there is a incredibly rough pack between you two. There are words being exchanged and possibly fists. The second that person walks in the room, you are getting this terrible sensation in my stomach. Everyone met someone like that whether they like it or not. Then as the months or possibly years go by, you begin to develop these feelings you never had towards this person. You are looking at this person in a different way. Suddenly, you realize that you actually like this person. The crazy part is that the other person feels the same way.

It's quite an unusual thing, but this happens in everyday life.

Back in high school, I remember this one boy that I couldn't stand to be around. His way of playing around with me was rubbing me the wrong way. I couldn't stand looking at him. I am a calm person, but I would always explode in front of him. This man is still to this day the only person that I have ever cussed that much in front of a person. The other person is my mother.

Once graduation was over and I finally met him again at a rock concert, I couldn't help but to develop these unusual feelings I had towards this person. I instantly knew what it was, but I couldn't believe it was towards one of the people that made my life a living hell. I happened to have a crush on this man, which really frightened me.

After that confession, I began to think about life. If that the people that we despise the most are actually the people that are going to be a part of our lives for quite a long time? I know that your best friend and everything is part of the picture, but what about the ones that came into your life unexpectedly?

Gays, Stop Going After Straights!

It's a subject that I don't think people are taking seriously. I am one of those openly gay men who is fighting to remove that stereotype people have about us, but I also believe that we as gay men need to work on ourselves. You have to admit that we have our own problems that we need to face sooner than later.

One thing is going after straight people. Every gay male doesn't do this, but there are a few that fall under this category of people who go after straight people. You know what I'm talking about. You run into this male that you know for a fact is straight. That doesn't mean a thing in your head. You try your best to get him interested in the same sex, so that hopefully he can remove his clothes, and possibly sleep with you. If it doesn't work out for this one, you go after the next person, hoping that it will happen the next time.

It's a secret thing that needs to stop. You're fighting an obviously losing battle. There is no way it's going to happen. If you manage to sleep with them it won't happen in the long run. It's just going to make things worse.

I am very fortunate to have a lot of straight male friends in my life. Every time we hang out we have a wonderful time. We embrace bromance like any other group of male friends. I don't let the fact that I'm the only gay male in the group be uncomfortable. They know who I am and it's never an issue.

I will admit that they are incredibly handsome. They are some of the cutest men I have ever met. Originally, I fantasized about what it would've been like it they were gay, and we were dating. But that fantasy in my mind was destroyed the next day. At the end of the day, I can't have them. Why? Because they're straight.

Besides, we have a wonderful friendship. We are very open with each other. When something is going on we talk to one another, and everything is better the next day. Our friendship grows stronger every day. Our sexual orientations are never an issue. Matter of fact, they always ask me why I don't have a boyfriend right now. It's quite funny when you think about it.

I do believe that there are some problems as gay men that need to work on. This is one of them that I'm hoping will soon change.

Lovers Before Friends? Shouldn't It Be The Other Way Around?

In life, friends are everything. Whenever you need to hang out with somebody on Friday night, they are one phone call away. Whenever you have something you need to get off your chest, they'll be there to listen to you. If you want to just check on that person, they'll answer your call, even at four in the morning.

Friendship has become the most important thing in an individual's life. But what happened years ago that changed the way we look at connections?

Weeks ago, I hung out with my best friend for a day of relaxing at the swimming pool since it was blazing hot outside. We had a great day. Nothing felt more exciting than hanging out with your best friends.

Then the whole feeling turned to a different direction when my best friend told me that he liked me and wanted to date me. We've only known each other as friends for two weeks and he instantly wanted to jump into another relationship. He shared a kiss with me in order to prove it. I respected his opinion on wanting to date, but that's not what I wanted for the two of us. Through my eyes, we were great friends and nothing else. Since all of my high school buddies are across the world and all the people I used to hang out with after graduation were the people I've dated, I felt like I wanted to have a strong friendship.

When that day was over he continued expressing his feelings and it hasn't changed even till this day. I walked away from him and haven't seen him physically for a while. His opinion on our friendship was something I still needed to think about.

The next day I began thinking about friendships and relationships, mostly in the LGBT community. Whenever we meet someone new, it turns into a relationship days later. The person just jumped past the friendship barrier and continued with dating. It's like friendship never even happened for the last few days. I've seen it happen to alot of my friends. I did that before once in my life.

Whenever I met someone new, it would turn into a relationship immediately. I never got the time to know this person as a friend, I jumped the broom and instantly went to dating. Now that I'm single and alone with none of my friends around, I began to develop new friendships.

When it comes to knowing a person, how did it change from a stranger that turns into your boyfriend the next day?

Does Friends With Benefits Truly Work?

I am one of those romantic comedy fans that can't wait to go see the romantic comedy "Friends With Benefits," starring Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. While others are going to see "Captain America: The First Avenger" I will be going to see this romantic comedy. I have seen too many superhero movies. It's time to take a break.

With the release of this movie and saying the title so many times, it brought up a big conversation in my head. I have met a couple of people that tried to be friends with benefits. I tried it at least twice in my life. I was having a conversation with an old friend about his recent break-up. He wasn't sad that he didn't have a boyfriend anymore. He was more upset that he temporarily had to say goodbye to sex.

"I need a beneficial friend," he said.

Me and him were the only two people walking together while on our way to Whole Foods. Knowing that I still cared for my friend and I hated to see him sad, I quickly volunteered my services. These were teenagers years people. I'm not the only one that did a bunch of insane things when I was a teenager.

Suddenly, I am getting a phone call the next day saying he doesn't want to be my beneficial friend. Of course, it was the obvious answer. He knew that if we decided to get intimate like that, he would get emotionally attached, and everything will be ruined.

Fast forward two years. I had a beneficial friend for two months. It ended just the way we ended. We had sex without getting emotionally attached. Whenever either of us are done with each other, we cut off our connections and move on with our lives. When it comes to being friends with benefits that worked out just as planned.

Now that "Friends With Benefits" is coming out I can't help but wonder. When it comes to friendships, does friends with benefits truly work?

What Do They Think About You?

I remember having a conversation an older friend of mine named Harry. Harry is an amazing person to hang out with all the time. Every time I meet him it's like looking at an older reflection of me. The kind of guy who always has a smile on his face. All you want to do is hug him because he is a teddy bear at heart. He tells you stories about his life that is bonafide hilarious. For the people that read my blog Roque's Reality, if you think I have the most unusual life in human history, then you got to meet Harry. His life is two times as funny as mine and that is what I love about him.

One day, Harry and I were sitting down in the middle of the night, getting some work done. I'm predicting it was some time before ten at night. Both of the projects we were working on happened to center around a certain individual. So we felt like we might as well hang together and get our stuff done at the same time. It was a great strategy. Besides, we also haven't seen each other in quite a while.

One of the things we were discussing was about the friends in our lives. He talked about encouragement and surrounding yourself with positive people. It's the same encouragement you have to give someone all the time. Harry knew that he didn't have to worry about me hanging around some negative influences. Even though I'm nineteen I know right from wrong tremendously.

During the conversation, I was telling him about the friends I had in my life and how I interact with them. Everyone knows me as a joyous person who comes up with a joke every now and then. Not only that, but I tell them stories about my life that are extremely surprising to them. While talking, Harry couldn't help but wonder about something.

"Let me ask you something Roque," said Harry.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I just wonder. You talk about your friends and how you are in front of them. But I can't help but wonder. What do they think about you?"

It was at that moment that I froze up. To be honest, I have never asked that kind of question to them before.

"I don't know," I responded softly. "I have never ask them that question."

We continued talking for a little while before finally getting our work done. I arrived home with that question still in my head. Never in my life have I asked a person what did they think about me as a person. The reason why is because no one has ever told me that. Honestly, I have never heard that question come out of anyone's mouth. Harry's question became a major topic.

In life, we show people the true us. We express ourselves in a way we know that is comfortable for ourselves. Then once you start showing off this personality of yours in front of your friends and random people, you begin to question them. You like yourself, but what do the people around you think about you as a person.

When it comes to life what do the people around you think about you as a person?

Does An Individual Deserves Infinite Chances?

I honestly don't believe that a person deserves infinite chances. No matter if it is a family member or your best friend it just doesn't feel right. When you have a person who hurts you the first time, it's obvious that you would give them a second chance. When they do it the second time you give them a third chance. Then the cycle goes on and they hurt you on purpose four, five, six, seven, and a hundred times.

It's kind of crazy to me what a human can go through and how long they can take it. Some people can take over a hundred hurts and they'll be alright. That is until they explode right in front of you. After all, a human being can only take so much.

There are individuals in this world who hurts you on purpose. Then they expect you to give them another chance because of this close relationship between the two of you. Mother, father, son, best friends, neighbors, and the list goes on and on.

When it comes to life, I can't help but wonder. Does an individual deserves infinite chances?

You're In Love With Your Best Friend. Now What?

There comes a time in each of our lives when the ultimate question pops up once in our heads. One day, you will begin to look at your best friend in a different way. There are a couple of images that has never appeared in your mind before when it came to your best friend. Whenever they walk past you, you begin to get tiny butterflies floating in your stomach. What you're feeling is the ultimate debate.

You are in love with your best friend and you don't know what to do with it. You don't know if you should tell them or not tell them. It's the number one debate when it comes to friendships in our society. The main reason the question has become debatable is due to the fact that you don't know what is going to be the outcome after you ask your best friend the big question.

Across the world, best friends have been asked this question, and it ended in mixed results. On one side, the best friend turns out has been feeling the same way. It takes the stress off and the two of them ended up being together. Then on another side, the question completely devastated the individual and it resulted in the friendship being over for good. There are some friends that haven't spoken to each other in years.

When it comes to life, your best friend is the person that knows you inside and out. Even if you are close to your parents, this one individual knows you inside and out. They have known you for years. They have your back even when they know you are wrong. It's the one person that gives you the ultimate attention and you give it back to them in return.

But there comes a time in our lives when the ultimate question arises. The two of you have hung out long enough to have these feelings brewing inside. You may love this person, but falling in love has become a complete shocker in your brain. Now you are stuck, not knowing what to do with these feelings. Will the question transform this friendship into something better, or will it erupt like a volcano and burn to a crisp.

When it comes to friendships, what do you do when you find out that you're in love with your best friend. Do you tell them or not tell them?

Has Your Best Friend Become Your Career?

Are you the best friend? I am not talking about the ordinary best friend. I am talking about "the" best friend.

In life, we are given this one best friend who sort of have became your brother/sister. There is no conflict. There is no arguing. Whenever you guys hang out, you're enjoying each other's company and having a good time. Life can be very difficult sometimes. Sometimes, all you need is your best friend's voice to calm you down. You can vent until your body loses 80% of it's blood and your best friend will still be there on the other line.

Of course, there comes a time when arguing and disagreements occurs between your friendship. Life is not 100% positive. But if your friendship bond is that strong, you can overcome whatever comes your way.

Once you've realized you have a tight bond you begin to realize something else. You look closely at everything you are doing in your everyday life. If more than 60% of your life is surrounding your best friend you begin to worry if your life is being truly consumed by the needs of your significant other. They will call you at 4 o'clock in the morning asking for a favor. Even though it's early to be doing anything around that time, you will get out of bed and still do it. Because that is how much of a best friend you are. Before you know it, you are getting more than a dozen phone calls from that person and 50% of them revolves around doing favors.

In life, we count on our best friends to do everything for us. They come over to your sleepovers. They come to the club together. If you are that experimental you might even invite them for a threesome. But when do you take a second and realize that you've sacrificed a large portion of your life to be there for your best friend.

When it comes to friendships, has your best friend become your career?

Can Tops and Bottoms Truly Be Friends?

Here in the 21st century of our world, everyone has chosen to be versatile. A large percentage of the LGBT community doesn't talk about their sexual positions. They don't talk about because they are comfortable doing both positions. But for some people, they don't want to tell people if they are a top or a bottom. It is all a secret until they get down in the bedroom and reveal who they really are.

As I get older and meet more new and interesting people, I couldn't help but notice something that has been secretly going on lately. On one end, there are a group of tops. Then on the other end, there are a group of bottoms. It was like a clique that was secretly created. They are not even worrying about being friends with the other positions. The last time they attempted to become friends they couldn't avoid the sexual chemistry and ended becoming a two night stand night on the same night.

Looking at that reminded of the movie When Harry Met Sally. Through Harry's perspective, men and women can't be friends without thinking about having sex first. But yet, he was friends with Sally, a woman throughout the entire movie. Of course, they ended up having sex with each other, but it mostly happened because the other one was feeling comfort for the other person. The majority of us accepted that incident because we all knew that Harry and Sally were meant to be together.

That incident was kind of a reflection of that movie. Just add a little LGBT sexual chemistry and you have the movie right there in front of you. When it comes to two men being together, they can't help but go forward with the special feeling they have lying dormant within them. They don't know the reason on how it was being triggered. Either they are incredibly horny or it's a feeling they have to go for because they never felt that way before. But is there ever a time when the tension can cool down and it will remain as a cool friendship?

When it comes to sex and life can tops and bottoms truly be friends?

Friendship or True Love? Which One Is More Important?

There is a new romantic comedy film coming out entitled "Something Borrowed." It's based on the bestselling novel by Emily Giffin. The trailer was just released not too long ago. I have been replaying the trailer for so long right now, it inspired me to write this post and friendships and relationships.

This novel tells the story of two friends named Rachel and Darcey. They have been friends since childhood, but they are both different in many ways. Rachel has been the good girl and best friend of Darcey since childhood. She does anything for Darcey, but has been her shadow for quite some time now.

When it comes to Darcey, she has been the person in center staged almost her whole life. Between the two of them, Darcey always gets what she wants and Rachel just goes with the flow.

Rachel turns thirty and ends up completely drunk. It results in Rachel sleeping with Darcey's fiance, Dexter, who Rachel had a crush on back when they were in law school. The fling turns into an affair, and Rachel has to choose which one is more important to her, friendship or true love.

The entire description of the story made me run out and get this novel. Not only because it's a romantic comedy story, but it's number one theme is friendship. Most people don't realize that friends go through alot more than what couples go through. I hope this novel and the movie will make people want to write more stories about friendships.

There comes a time in each of our lives when we each have to choose between friendship and love. Our friends are people that we treasure most dearly. Your friends have known you for years. They know you inside and out the same way you do when it comes to them. Then love comes into your life and it starts raising alot of questions. Will this relationship change the dynamic of your relationship with your friends.

Will you find a way to balance everything together and still maintain a successful friendship while having a wonderful relationship? Or will you up having to choose which one is more important to you.

When it comes to friendships, which one is more important. Friendship or True Love?

Below is the trailer for "Something Borrowed." The movie comes out May 6.

Do you wanna SNICKERS?