Real Open Talk For Life with WJC

By: Rev. W. Jeffrey Campbell, Houston, TX

Today is Valentine’s Day! This day is filled with cupids, flowers, chocolates, cards, expensive gifts and more. Some people will get engaged on today. Others will actually say their vows today. It is a day that has morphed into a love celebration as well as a money maker for greeting card companies, florists and candy companies. With all of the excitement that this day is wrapped in I would venture to say that for every 4 people who are excited about this day or at the least tolerant of it, there is one person who is not in the least bit excited at all. As a matter of fact I would venture to say that person actually loathes this day.

As I was perusing through the status updates of others on Facebook on yesterday, one of my friends had a bah-humbug moment regarding Valentine’s Day. There were others who chimed in with her and then one individual asked her a rather interesting question, “Are you getting a gift for your BFF?” I found something very rich in that question because it actually mirrors the way that I have chosen to celebrate this day. In the past 10 years or so as I have been constantly working on being a better WJC I have learned how to transform these “Big Days” into whatever I need them to be for me. “What doth thou mean by this?”

This Valentine’s Day I do not have a significant other. However, I have chosen to give some of the special people in my life cards, flowers and gifts to celebrate the love that we share with each other. On my list of recipients include: my daughter, a couple of my BFF who have been on the mountain tops and in the valleys of life with me and one couple who is a model for me of what a same-gender loving relationship should look like. This day I celebrate the love of family and friends as well as the love that my friends who are in relationships are experiencing. Now, don’t get me wrong! I’m hoping that next Valentine’s Day I will be in a love relationship that I will be able to celebrate, but in the meantime I’m not going to stop celebrating love because I’m not in a relationship.

I believe now more than ever that many of us self-mutilate when we are not in relationships. We cut love as if it doesn’t exist simply because we are not coupled up with someone else. Love is everlasting and it should be celebrated! As I have grown I have been able to even celebrate past loves. Hint: just because the relationship ended doesn’t mean that it wasn’t good while it lasted. Remember the good things that you learned from it! Be thankful for those things that you gained! Those moments good and bad were the fertilizer that caused us to grow.



My friends, it is Valentine’s Day, the day of love! Honor and celebrate the loves that you are blessed to have. Most importantly celebrate yourself! Other than God, you ought to be the best lover that you will ever have!

Much Love to You!

Until next week…ROTFL with WJC!

Please contact me at realopentalkforlife@yahoo.com for further discussion.

Real Open Talk For Life with WJC

The Future is honored to have Rev. Campbell as our spiritual contributor. His insight, wisdom and leadership are most helpful to the cluster of information that comes in and out of our lives everyday. In the past few weeks, we have received 45% more followers who joined The Future. We wanted to re-introduce the Rev. this Sunday.

This original message was posted on Sunday, October 11, 2009. Enjoy and read words from Rev. Campbell every Sunday on The Future. Also follow him on Facebook at Jeffrey Campbell.

REMIX - Real Open Talk For Life with WJC
By: Rev. W. Jeffrey Campbell, Houston, TX

Greetings Family! Welcome to Real Open Talk For Life

I am W. Jeffrey Campbell and I am so excited about this opportunity to spend the next 13 Sundays challenging and encouraging you through spiritual meditations that are being designed specifically for the Black LGBT community right here on Thefutureforward.net.

Like many other same-gender loving African American preachers, I spent a great deal of time struggling with my sexuality and my call to ministry. After many years of searching, praying, counseling, crying and my own personal study, I finally heard God say very clearly, “I love you and you are okay.” What a relief! But God had more plans for me. The next challenge that God placed before me was the call to minister directly to people who identify openly and privately as gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgendered. This is what brings me to you on today.

We will start our journey together taking a look at the prophet Nehemiah, one of the biblical loves of my life. In Nehemiah I see a man who has a passion for the well-being of his people. He weeps at the thought of their plight, but he does not resign himself to being a just a mourner. Nehemiah stepped to the plate and began to do the work necessary to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.

Beyond Nehemiah we will take a look at how rejection, abuse, internalized homophobia and many other ills have caused us great pain. We will not stop at discussing pain…we will delve into how we can overcome these pains of our past and present and live a liberated life in a fulfilling relationship with the Creator.

Let this journey of hope and healing begin!

HOW WILL YOU RESPOND?

In chapter 1 of Nehemiah, the prophet is exiled in Persia, working in the king’s palace as cupbearer. He receives word that the Jewish people who have returned to Jerusalem from exile are in great turmoil and disgrace because the city’s walls are destroyed, the gates burned, the city left in ruins. Nehemiah weeps, mourns, fasts and prays for favor in the king’s presence.

In many ways our Black LGBT community lies in ruins and our people in disgrace.

Ø LGBT Christians are struggling with spirituality and sexuality
Ø HIV cases continue to rise
Ø Our people are dying in unnecessary shame from the virus
Ø Black LGBT teens are being kicked out of their homes by parents

But, the good news is that God is calling US into service to rebuild a healthy Black LGBT community!

How will you respond to the plight of our people? Are you saddened enough to weep and mourn? Are you committed enough to make a sacrifice and pray for favor with the intent to rebuild our community?

Join me today on a journey of rebuilding, one life at a time!
If you would like to contact me via e-mail, please write me at realopentalkforlife@yahoo.com.

Until next week….ROTFL with WJC…

Real Open Talk For Life with WJC

A Good Damn Dose of What They Really Think
By: Rev. W. Jeffrey Campbell, Houston, TX

On Friday night while attending the African American State of Emergency Task Force (SOETF) Gala I experienced a good damn dose of what some people really think. The SOETF is a conglomeration of agencies, churches and individuals who have joined together in the fight against HIV/AIDS. The gala is designed to create networking opportunities, to honor those who are doing the work and to allow time for structured discussion regarding the fight against HIV/AIDS.

This year the tables in the room were labeled according to the target audience that participants were either working with or a part of. Those tables included: Faith/Spiritual, GLBT (and yes, they were side by side), Women, Youth and Incarcerated. Each attendant was given a sheet of paper and asked to state how he/she felt the Task Force could better address the needs of their specific target audience. A panel of people was formed from each of the target audiences and I had the opportunity to represent both the faith-based community and the GLBT community. If you smell trouble, you are on the right track!

During the dialogue this comment was made from the audience, “the church needs to become more educated in regards to the GLBT community.” I was asked to address that comment. Before I said anything I made it clear that I love the Black church. Silly me, I should have known that would quickly be forgotten. I stated that I believed that the church did indeed become more educated in regards to the GLBT community and particularly noted that many people have and still do struggle in their journey because of the words that they have heard spoken in the church damning them to hell. My belief is that many times the wounds that people, particularly, black gay men experience, causes these individuals to make poor choices in the way they live out their lives particularly around sex. I spoke further about affirming churches (giving the definition that these churches are birthed to be welcoming and affirming to members of the GLBT community but are also welcoming to all people.) I challenged the church to become more educated and I challenged members of the GLBT community who attend affirming churches not to go into those spaces and cause havoc that destroys that which was built for them. I closed by saying that education breeds growth and if we don’t grow we eventually die.

I must say that it has been awhile since I have had this discussion in a diverse room. I guess I have been living in Wonderful because I need you to know that the good church people came for me like bulls to a red blanket.

Over the next 15 minutes I heard things like:

· “Yes, it is an abomination to God!”
· “It is no different than if I go out and sleep with a lot of men.” Her point was that being gay was the same thing as being a slut or prostitute…”It’s all sin!”
· “Sodom and Gomorrah!”
· “God didn’t make Adam and Steve!” This was from a preacher!
· Then my favorite, “But, I love you!” Like hell you do!

The other panelist, all of which were heterosexual, sat on the stage mortified! I sat patiently and waited for the microphone to come back to me. Several members of the GLBT audience had great rebuttals however the good church people were not hearing any of it.

As I sat on the stage I realized many things. First, I realized that these people that my same-gender loving colleagues and I work with love to work with us as long as we don’t say that we are okay with who we are and that God is okay with us. There was one preacher who we work with on a regular basis who was almost foaming at the mouth while he spoke about the Bible being the true word of God. Mind you, I never said I didn’t believe in God or the Bible, I said that I struggle with how the Bible has been misinterpreted. I guess for them that is saying the same thing. These are probably some of the same people who believe that Denzel Washington’s new movie, The Book of Eli, is an awesome movie because he was able to save the King James Version of the Bible in a near end of the world experience. I for one don’t believe that God will be trying to save King James’ version of anything at anytime. But, that’s just my take on it!



The other realization that I had was that the microphone was never coming back to me! Oh, but I thank God for technology!!!!! I looked out at the 30 or so members of the GLBT community who were in that room and realized that I had at least 10 of their numbers in my iPhone. Hallelujah! I sat on stage and pulled out my phone and sent the following text message to them: My brothers and sisters first I want you to know that you are not an abomination! Secondly, Sodom and Gomorrah is not about homosexuality it is about the lack of hospitality to strangers. I love you dearly and God loves you more!

I was hurting for each of my sisters and brothers who came into that room thinking that it would be a safe space for them. I was hurting for every person in the room who would not sit at the GLBT tables because they quietly live a closeted life and daily fear the possibility of being outed. I hurt for every parent who was in that room who has a gay child and heard those evil words being spoken. As I stepped from the stage having been given a good damn dose of reality from some good old church people in suits, ties, furs and gloves, I walked to every member of the GLBT community still in that room and said God loves you!

I’m troubled because I’m not sure that my words will be enough. The hurtful words that were spoken have been spoken over our lives for years and have taken deep root. The words, “God loves you” is hardly ever heard by a member of our community unless it is follow by, “It’s your sin that God hates.” To prove my point….I just received a text message from my colleague who organized the event. He has been out and proud before pepper was black. This morning this proud gay man, who sometimes gives us woman, is still hurt and angered by the comments that came from people that he works in community with. Once this article is done I have to call him and help him begin the process of repairing himself. I know he is not the only one. It feels like Haiti. So many lives damaged and not a clue as to where to begin.

I feel as though I’m babbling because I still am wounded as well. I suppose I should just close out with this……God is in love with you and your sexual orientation cannot destroy that love. God accepts you and your sexual orientation will not change that. You were created in God’s image and you carry the breath of God in you. Allow the love of this awesome God to consume you. Make good choices in your journey. Every chance you get take the time to tell someone else that God loves them too! Finally, stay buckled up because every now and then you will get a good damn dose of what some people really think. It’s just a part of the journey.

Until next week…ROTFL with WJC!

Please contact me at realopentalkforlife@yahoo.com for further discussion.

Real Open Talk For Life with WJC

Eyes Wide Open
By: Rev. W. Jeffrey Campbell, Houston, TX

Yesterday, January 23, 2010, I was winding up my time at the 2010 National African American MSM Leadership Conference on HIV/AIDS and other Health Disparities in Atlanta, GA. As usual, it had been an awesome experience to be with my same and both gender loving brothers and our heterosexual allies dialoguing about this disease that continues to ravage our African American community and more specifically the men of our African American same-gender loving community.

On Thursday Rev. Edwin Sanders of Nashville, TN offered a prayer during our lunch plenary session. Prior to praying Rev. Sanders gave specific instructions on what he wanted willing participants to do during the prayer. These were his instructions:

1. Do not bow your head, instead, keep it up.
2. Do not close your eyes, instead, keep them open.
3. If you feel led, during the prayer look around the room and observe the other men in the room.

As Rev. Sanders began to pray I listened to him eloquently address God as he celebrated life and as he petitioned God for necessary blessings. As his booming voice filled the air I began to look at my brothers with my eyes wide open. I gazed first at the brothers at my table and then across the room as the many others who had made the journey to Atlanta for this conference. With my eyes wide open I saw black same/both gender loving me as young as 18 and as old as 65. I saw men of all heights, weights and skin tones. There were bald brothers, brothers with locks and everything in between. In that room were individuals with GEDs, high school diplomas, college degrees and some who have Ph.D or MD behind their names.

With my eyes wide open I continued to explore the great similarities and differences of God’s creation, the Black same/both gender loving brother. The more I looked around the more I discovered. From the east coast to the west coast; men from north of the Mason Dixon Line and others who spoke with a southern drawl. There were men who are single and others who are in partnered relationships. These men came from varying belief backgrounds in regards to God and Jesus Christ. Some brothers live with HIV. Others are in the AIDS stages of the virus while still others live with an HIV negative status.

I kept on looking! Students, teachers, mentors and mentees! Suits, jeans, African garb, dress shoes and sneakers! In this room were brothers living out loud while others only experience the comfort of being out when they are away from their home city.

As Rev. Sanders drew his conversation with God to a close I whispered my own prayer to God. I asked God to bless every brother in the room and to allow my brothers to experience God like never before. I then thanked God for giving me the opportunity to see and experience what some have never seen and even more what some think does not exist I saw strong, wise, healthy African American same and both gender loving men and I felt blessed.

The next time you have an opportunity to experience our brothers whether it be in a small gathering or a large gathering, enter the room with your eyes wide open filled with love and compassion and not hatred or judgment. I hope that you will see what I saw and give thanks.

Until next week…ROTFL with WJC!

Please contact me at realopentalkforlife@yahoo.com for further discussion.

Real Open Talk For Life with WJC

God: A Priority and Not an Option
By: Rev. W. Jeffrey Campbell, Houston, TX

I shared with readers on last week how I spent New Year’s Eve in church and the first 12 hours of 2010 with my some of my best and close friend crew. We sat at a round table eating a hearty breakfast and talked about the goals that we had achieved in 2009 and the goals that we have set for ourselves for 2010. It was a gay, gay, gay time as we shared our thankful moments, talked about the future and of course came for each other in the early morning hours as only friends can do.

As 2009 was coming to a close, I realized that I had spent most of the year in a spiritual daze. Yes, I had utilized my spiritual gifts of preaching, teaching, exhortation and administration to bless others. But, I knew that I had been walking around in a fog for most of the year and had not really focused on my own personal spiritual growth. (Anybody feeling me?)

I had decided that I would open up the New Year with a 40-day Daniel Fast in hopes of coming out of the fog. The Daniel Fast is a fast where you eat only fresh fruit and vegetables. You cannot consume any sugar, salt, caffeine, white flour, desserts or fried foods. That’s right, all the GOOD stuff.

In his book, “Fasting for Spiritual Breakthrough”, Elmer Towns writes that the Daniel Fast focuses on health and physical healing. I will tell you now that although I am closely following the dietary guidelines of the Daniel Fast, I am praying about and meditating on a plethora of subject matters for my personal life and ministry while I also intercede for others. As a matter of fact, I had to pray about what I was going to pray about during my fast. My answer came as I was reflecting upon a posting that I had read while attending Facebook Church…yes, Facebook Church! If you are an avid Facebooker you know that you really can run across some postings that can be quite beneficial to one’s spiritual growth.

The posting that opened my eyes said this, “Never make anyone a priority that makes you an option.” Wow! I read that posting back in October. In that moment it spoke to a potential dating situation that I was in that was showing signs of failure before it even got off the ground. However, as the year came to a close and I was in prayer about what I needed to do in order to come out of the 2009 fog, I realized that the root of my issue was that I had allowed God to become an option in my life as opposed to a priority. I had been active in ministry all year. I had been in church on Sundays and during the week. I had prayed for others. I had preached sermons and taught lessons but, I again I say I had not taken the time to do anything to enhance MY OWN personal relationship with God.

As I gathered with my friends in the early hours of 2010 I didn’t have a list of things that I wanted to accomplish in this New Year. When it was my turn to share I simply said, it is my intention to make God a priority in my life and not an option. I knew then and know in this moment of writing that that goal included the fast that I would embark upon on January 5th as well as focused prayer and personal worship times. I knew that making God priority meant more times of study of not only the Bible but other forms of literature that support spiritual growth. And, I knew that it meant spending some alone time with God so that we can really reconnect.

I am thankful to say that I am on Day 11 of my period of fasting a praying and I have already experienced God’s movement in my life. It has not come without challenge however, I am much stronger to face and overcome the challenge because I am intentionally making God a priority and not an option.

As you do self-inventory I encourage you to ask yourself the question, “Is God a priority or an option in my life?” It is so easy to get caught up in taking care of the spiritual needs of others but, if you are not dually doing the work of pouring into yourself, you run the risk of winding up in the same fog that I have been living in for the past year or so. What you may be led to do may not look like what I am doing. That’s perfectly okay. My desire and I certainly believe that God’s desire is that you be closer to God today than you were on yesterday. Join me on this wonderful quest. You will be glad that you did!

Until next week…ROTFL with WJC!

Please contact me at realopentalkforlife@yahoo.com for further discussion.

Real Open Talk For Life with WJC

The New Year’s Round Table!
By: Rev. W. Jeffrey Campbell, Houston, TX

The year 2010 has arrived! A new year and a new decade!

Nancy Wilson recorded a song many years ago entitled, “What are You Doing New Year’s Eve?” What a wonderful song of romance and budding love. I remember making a cassette tape (yes, cassette tape) years ago for someone who I had fallen for. The tape included Nancy’s tune and other love songs and I wrote a nice little love note suggesting that we bring the New Year in together. I never mailed the tape or the letter and although our whirlwind two day romance was wonderful, it never moved past that point. No baby’s breath and no lace!

This New Year’s Eve found me in church, which is quite usual for me. I do think it is something quite awesome to ring in the New Year while singing God’s praises and in prayer and reflection. After church I gathered with 10 wonderful friends for breakfast and great conversation. This has become somewhat of a tradition for me and some of my in-town best and close friend circle. This year’s breakfast was held in the home of one of my best friends and his partner of 5 years.

Let’s take a look at what the breakfast crew looked like. The youngest guest was 31. The oldest 46. The relationship status of our breakfast crew included: two couples; one friend who just recently entered into a long distance relationship with plans of his boyfriend moving here later this year; 4 single guys; and then there was me and the great guy that I have been “talking to” for the past 2 months who lives in another state.

We sat at the round dining table and talked about a plethora of topics but we intentionally landed on two very necessary topics for an early morning breakfast on the first day of the New Year: What had we accomplished in 2009 and what were our goals for 2010.

During this time of the evening we gratefully poured our souls out detailing successes of 2009. One crew member began 2009 stating that he was going to lose weight. When by February he had not gone near a gym or cut back on any starches or red meats, most of the crew thought that he was not going to achieve his goal. I however, being one of the smarter crew members (LOL), remembered that this one was very goal oriented and very stubborn, so if he said he was going to do it, he would definitely accomplish it. (Five years ago he said that he was going to buy a home and get into a relationship. He has accomplished both!) So, I was not surprised when in November he had lost 25 pounds and by mid-December he had lowered his weight by 29 pounds. What was his secret? I suggested that he had gotten his stomach stapled but, in actuality he had used the Quick Weight Lose Center Program. He is now tucking his shirt back into his pants and sporting quit a waist line! Congratulations!

I had spent a great deal of New Year’s Eve day trying to remember what I had accomplished in 2009. Just about the time I was ready to throw in the towel and say “nothing”, I remembered the commitments that I had made during our 2009 New Year’s breakfast. I said that I would work more with my African American GLBT community, particularly Black gay men. Light bulb moment! In 2009 “Brothas Speaking I” and “Brothas Speaking II”, my idea to create safe and healthy spaces for African American same-gender loving men to discuss subjects live relationships, health and spirituality and sexuality came to life with great success. I had the opportunity to preach on the Ebony Pyramid Entertainment Cruise in October, yet another event for same gender loving members of the African American community. I also spoke during several events at the DFW Pride Movement and I was asked to serve as a contributing writing for The Future Forward. I am grateful to God for not only giving me these opportunities to connect with my community but also for bringing these achievements back to my memory when I was almost convinced that the year had gone by and I had done nothing.

I do not believe in a creature embodied in red skin with horns, a pitch fork and a spiked tail named the devil. I do however believe in the presence of evil in our world that sometimes attacks us and causes us not to be able to focus on what is important, to remember the things that we have accomplished and force us into a period of discouragement. It happens to all of us at some time or another. It is just something that we don’t like to talk about or that we discuss with no real idea of what is causing our struggle.

If the enemies of depression, low self-esteem and discouragement have caused you to not be able to recall your past accomplishments or have you stuck and not wanting to move forward into your present and future assignments, I encourage you to seek God for deliverance over these strongholds. You, my friend, are a gift to this world that is priceless. You are filled with potential much of which has gone untapped. Do not waste another minute wandering in the fog.

Begin to walk in your truth, your gifting and your call! Seek God for personal revival! Get focused or re-focused! We have goals to achieve, lives to touch, relationships to enter into, families to birth and nurture. 2010 is here let’s take it by storm!

Happy New Year!
Until next week…ROTFL with WJC!
Please contact me at realopentalkforlife@yahoo.com for further discussion.

Real Open Talk For Life with WJC

The BF Circle…

By: Rev. W. Jeffrey Campbell, Houston, TX

Some time ago I realized that God had given me the ability to enter into and maintain healthy friendships over a period of years. I have a circle of best friends that I have had for many years. They are male. They are female. They are same-gender loving. They are heterosexual. They are ministers. They are singers. There’s a banker. There’s an attorney. They are younger. They are older. They are married. They are partnered. They are single. They are parents. They are MY BF Circle.

Lisa is the best friend who has been around the longest. We have been best friends for 30 years, since I was 13. We have been drunk and high together….yes, drunk and high. There is a difference. We have done some ridiculously silly things together. We have laughed about some incidents that no one else could find funny. We have experienced the death of grandparents and parents together. And, of course, we hold some very dear secrets about each other. Thirty years of memories in an unlocked treasure chest waiting for many more to be added.

Travis and I have been friends since our days in college. Our friendship moved into best friend level when we came out to each other years after college. We too have many insane memories and have walked with each other through our individual storms. We both have struggled within ourselves in regards to our sexuality. I remember one time when I was in Atlanta where he lives visiting my then boyfriend. I called him and he chastised me for being there with another man. “You know God ain’t pleased with that mess.” I am so excited to say that Travis has met a man who he adores and I believe this baby’s breath that I have been growing in my back yard is finally going to be put to some good use. The ha-ha in this is that his boyfriend’s name is Jeff. He is light-skinned and bald just like me. I joke with Travis and tell him that he has settled for the other Jeff because he can’t have me. He simply replies, “Girl please!”

There are so many more stories that I could tell you about the wonderful people who make up the BF Circle. With every similarity there is a difference. We every few happy stories there comes a story that will bring tears to your eyes. And, I wouldn’t trade any of those moments for the world.

Last night I went to a holiday party hosted by one of the members of my BF Circle. There were 10 of use there with several of the group being a part of the BF Circle. We key-keyed about our past and either celebrated or lamented our present. But, we all hoped for a better future. There was a ridiculous game that we played that called for one player on the team to hold a plunger between his legs and try to stick it into the hole of a roll of toilet paper that was being held between the legs of his other teammates, without the use of either player’s hands. If you have a vivid imagination or if you have played this game before then the picture in your mind looks like two grown men standing in the middle of the floor simulating sex! It was fun!!!!! LOL! Then there was Golden Girls Trivia…just so gay! At some point we agreed to never tell anyone that we have watched the Girls enough time to know all of the answers to those trivia questions: How many different actors played Big Daddy? What actor played two different rolls on the show? What was the name of Dorothy’s friend who revealed she was a lesbian and had a crush on Rose. What was the name of the gay housekeeper in the pilot show? Okay, okay…we will invite you to the next gathering! LOL

Yes, to be able to say you have friends is a blessing. Everyone does not have that testimony. Some folks wish to be able to hear the voice of a friend on the other end of the phone. Some hope for the day when they can sit at a table until sunrise and share their stories with a BF Circle. There are some who don’t know who they will call if an emergency situation arises in their lives. I can say that I get calls and make calls daily to at least two of the BF Circle. I have sat up until sunrise and exchanged life stories with the BF Circle. And, after I call God, I know who to call next when trouble attempts to overcome me.

As I am celebrating the birth of Christ during this season I am also celebrating the gift of friendship. I am singing “Joy to the World”! I am singing “O Come, O Come Emanuel”! I am singing “O Holy Night”! But, I am also singing “You are My Friend”! “That’s What Friends are For” And, I am singing “I Need You to Survive”! I sing not just because I’m happy and free. I sing because I have friends to celebrate not only this season with me but, friends who will celebrate life’s entire journey with me.

Join me and let’s celebrate the gift of friendship. If you do not have quality friends in your life, I encourage you to pray and ask God for these precious gifts and then begin to open yourself up and show yourself friendly. There is a friend that has been created just for you.

Until next week…ROTFL with WJC!

Please contact me at realopentalkforlife@yahoo.com for further discussion.