Are you the best friend? I am not talking about the ordinary best friend. I am talking about "the" best friend.
In life, we are given this one best friend who sort of have became your brother/sister. There is no conflict. There is no arguing. Whenever you guys hang out, you're enjoying each other's company and having a good time. Life can be very difficult sometimes. Sometimes, all you need is your best friend's voice to calm you down. You can vent until your body loses 80% of it's blood and your best friend will still be there on the other line.
Of course, there comes a time when arguing and disagreements occurs between your friendship. Life is not 100% positive. But if your friendship bond is that strong, you can overcome whatever comes your way.
Once you've realized you have a tight bond you begin to realize something else. You look closely at everything you are doing in your everyday life. If more than 60% of your life is surrounding your best friend you begin to worry if your life is being truly consumed by the needs of your significant other. They will call you at 4 o'clock in the morning asking for a favor. Even though it's early to be doing anything around that time, you will get out of bed and still do it. Because that is how much of a best friend you are. Before you know it, you are getting more than a dozen phone calls from that person and 50% of them revolves around doing favors.
In life, we count on our best friends to do everything for us. They come over to your sleepovers. They come to the club together. If you are that experimental you might even invite them for a threesome. But when do you take a second and realize that you've sacrificed a large portion of your life to be there for your best friend.
When it comes to friendships, has your best friend become your career?
When you're in a relationship and the hang outs have been stunning, you always think about what's it going to be like when the two of you go out with each other again. All of a sudden, things are beginning to change. A third person has been added to the mix. You are being introduced to this person who begins hanging out with you two more often.
The two of you have been going out for weeks now. You want all of those times to be romantic, but it's hard for you to do when you look over and see this other person following your every move. Then every time you try to tell your mate that it's starting to get awkward, he/she always answer with the same sentence "That is my friend."
Later on, secrets begin to come out. Almost everything you predicted turn out to be true. This person is not only a friend, but turns out to be a secret lover. A secret lover that your mate has sex with on the side or sometimes wants you to get involved with in threesomes.
You always knew that there was something weird about this other person, but you didn't know that things were going on the way you predicted. Now only question is going on in your head. Did the third person knew about it and was playing along?
It's a habit that I've seen going around with many relationships. You meet someone. You go on wonderful dates. All of a sudden, there is a third person hanging out with you two everywhere you go. Then everything that you are doing with your mate has the other person involved in it, especially sex. Later on, the secrets are revealed.
Knowing that this is going on in relationships, I can't help but wonder. Are third wheels allowed to hang out with the lovers?
The one thing that I really do love about myself is that I am a friendship person. I love having a lot of friends. I actually have more friends than I had when it comes to relationships. My relationships are not even in the double digits yet. I love meeting new people that could possibly develop into a friendship. There is no limit for me. I love anyone that I can have an amazing conversation with. I will admit that there are times when it can get a little out of control. You're wondering what this person is doing because you haven't heard from them in a long time, but I do my best to keep it together.
I will admit one thing. You can't become my friend easily. Even though I have many friends they will tell you it took some time for me to fully trust them. I had that smile on my face all the time but I did not let it go that far. There are some people in this world who pretends to be a friend, and ends up hurting you in the process. So I make my friends carefully. Also, I will only be your friend unless you want me to. I know I can't please everyone. A simple confession that you don't want to be friends is enough for me.
One day, I was sitting at the computer, getting some work done as usual. I looked around my office and started to feel very lonely. I am always by myself in my office, but it really dawned on me during this particular night. I browsed on Facebook and saw some familiar faces along with old friends. I haven't heard from some in days, weeks, months, and years.
Here I am with these large groups of friends, but I was still alone at the end of the day.
I finally summed up the courage to email a couple of them, just asking how they are and what they've been doing lately. Some of them didn't respond back, which made me a little sad. However, there were a group of people that responded to my emails. They said what they were doing and they were happy that I contacted them. A few of them missed the charm that I brought into their lives and wished that they could hang out with me again.
All of those responses brought happiness into my heart. I truly missed them, but I was afraid they didn't miss me and moved on with their lives. From the way it looked, I received mixed responses. Some of them didn't respond, showing that they moved on and I've been removed from their lives. But there are some that miss me, just as much as I miss them.
I want this to be a message to everyone who reads me. We can't wait all the time for the other person to get in contact with you. Sometimes you have to send an email or dial a number to hear from them. I have a large group of friends and I wouldn't trade them for any person in the world. Even if I make new friends they will always be a part of life. I'll just have to find a way to slow down time.
So to everyone that reads this there comes a time in your life when you have to make the call. If you truly care about that person, instead of wondering how they're feeling, get in contact with them. Show them that you care. Let them hear your voice again.
There comes a time in each of our lives when the ultimate question pops up once in our heads. One day, you will begin to look at your best friend in a different way. There are a couple of images that has never appeared in your mind before when it came to your best friend. Whenever they walk past you, you begin to get tiny butterflies floating in your stomach. What you're feeling is the ultimate debate.
You are in love with your best friend and you don't know what to do with it. You don't know if you should tell them or not tell them. It's the number one debate when it comes to friendships in our society. The main reason the question has become debatable is due to the fact that you don't know what is going to be the outcome after you ask your best friend the big question.
Across the world, best friends have been asked this question, and it ended in mixed results. On one side, the best friend turns out has been feeling the same way. It takes the stress off and the two of them ended up being together. Then on another side, the question completely devastated the individual and it resulted in the friendship being over for good. There are some friends that haven't spoken to each other in years.
When it comes to life, your best friend is the person that knows you inside and out. Even if you are close to your parents, this one individual knows you inside and out. They have known you for years. They have your back even when they know you are wrong. It's the one person that gives you the ultimate attention and you give it back to them in return.
But there comes a time in our lives when the ultimate question arises. The two of you have hung out long enough to have these feelings brewing inside. You may love this person, but falling in love has become a complete shocker in your brain. Now you are stuck, not knowing what to do with these feelings. Will the question transform this friendship into something better, or will it erupt like a volcano and burn to a crisp.
When it comes to friendships, what do you do when you find out that you're in love with your best friend. Do you tell them or not tell them?
Some time ago I realized that God had given me the ability to enter into and maintain healthy friendships over a period of years.I have a circle of best friends that I have had for many years.They are male.They are female.They are same-gender loving.They are heterosexual.They are ministers.They are singers.There’s a banker.There’s an attorney.They are younger.They are older.They are married. They are partnered.They are single.They are parents.They are MY BF Circle.
Lisa is the best friend who has been around the longest.We have been best friends for 30 years, since I was 13.We have been drunk and high together….yes, drunk and high.There is a difference.We have done some ridiculously silly things together.We have laughed about some incidents that no one else could find funny.We have experienced the death of grandparents and parents together.And, of course, we hold some very dear secrets about each other.Thirty years of memories in an unlocked treasure chest waiting for many more to be added.
Travis and I have been friends since our days in college.Our friendship moved into best friend level when we came out to each other years after college.We too have many insane memories and have walked with each other through our individual storms.We both have struggled within ourselves in regards to our sexuality.I remember one time when I was in Atlanta where he lives visiting my then boyfriend.I called him and he chastised me for being there with another man. “You know God ain’t pleased with that mess.”I am so excited to say that Travis has met a man who he adores and I believe this baby’s breath that I have been growing in my back yard is finally going to be put to some good use.The ha-ha in this is that his boyfriend’s name is Jeff.He is light-skinned and bald just like me.I joke with Travis and tell him that he has settled for the other Jeff because he can’t have me.He simply replies, “Girl please!”
There are so many more stories that I could tell you about the wonderful people who make up the BF Circle.With every similarity there is a difference.We every few happy stories there comes a story that will bring tears to your eyes.And, I wouldn’t trade any of those moments for the world.
Last night I went to a holiday party hosted by one of the members of my BF Circle.There were 10 of use there with several of the group being a part of the BF Circle.We key-keyed about our past and either celebrated or lamented our present.But, we all hoped for a better future.There was a ridiculous game that we played that called for one player on the team to hold a plunger between his legs and try to stick it into the hole of a roll of toilet paper that was being held between the legs of his other teammates, without the use of either player’s hands.If you have a vivid imagination or if you have played this game before then the picture in your mind looks like two grown men standing in the middle of the floor simulating sex!It was fun!!!!!LOL! Then there was Golden Girls Trivia…just so gay!At some point we agreed to never tell anyone that we have watched the Girls enough time to know all of the answers to those trivia questions:How many different actors played Big Daddy?What actor played two different rolls on the show?What was the name of Dorothy’s friend who revealed she was a lesbian and had a crush on Rose.What was the name of the gay housekeeper in the pilot show?Okay, okay…we will invite you to the next gathering!LOL
Yes, to be able to say you have friends is a blessing.Everyone does not have that testimony.Some folks wish to be able to hear the voice of a friend on the other end of the phone.Some hope for the day when they can sit at a table until sunrise and share their stories with a BF Circle.There are some who don’t know who they will call if an emergency situation arises in their lives.I can say that I get calls and make calls daily to at least two of the BF Circle.I have sat up until sunrise and exchanged life stories with the BF Circle.And, after I call God, I know who to call next when trouble attempts to overcome me.
As I am celebrating the birth of Christ during this season I am also celebrating the gift of friendship.I am singing “Joy to the World”!I am singing “O Come, O Come Emanuel”!I am singing “O Holy Night”!But, I am also singing “You are My Friend”!“That’s What Friends are For” And, I am singing “I Need You to Survive”!I sing not just because I’m happy and free.I sing because I have friends to celebrate not only this season with me but, friends who will celebrate life’s entire journey with me.
Join me and let’s celebrate the gift of friendship.If you do not have quality friends in your life, I encourage you to pray and ask God for these precious gifts and then begin to open yourself up and show yourself friendly.There is a friend that has been created just for you.
