Conservative Idiots Freak Out About Boy Wearing Nail Polish in J. Crew Ad

Richard Lawson — Last week an ad was emailed to J. Crew customers featuring a photo of the company's president and creative director Jenna Lyons and her son in which she was painting his toenails pink. A caption below the picture read: "Lucky for me I ended up with a boy whose favorite color is pink. Toenail painting is way more fun in neon." Oh, fun. Good for her. Good for him. Right?Wrong. This is an outrage!

Psychologist Keith Ablow, the father of Glenn Beck's son, saw this ad and was so upset he decided to write a column about it. And that column is a thing of horrifying beauty. Let's look at a sample!

Increasingly, girls show none of the reticence they once did to engage in early sexual relationships with boys. That may be a good thing from the standpoint of gender equality, but it could be a bad thing since there is no longer the same typically "feminine" brake on such behavior. Girls beat up other girls on YouTube. Young men primp and preen until their abdomens are washboards and their hair is perfect. And while that may seem like no big deal, it will be a very big deal if it turns out that neither gender is very comfortable anymore nurturing children above all else, and neither gender is motivated to rank creating a family above having great sex forever and neither gender is motivated to protect the nation by marching into combat against other men and risking their lives.

Hahaha. This motherfucker thinks a young child putting pink nail polish on his toes means that the Army is going to become a parade of siss-fags who are all promptly shot to Swiss cheese by the real men, the Al Qaedas. Boys should not be wearing nail polish, nor should they have washboard abs or gelled hair! Boys, men, should be pot-bellied and wild-haired, farting and raping and shooting guns in the air, while girls are pink and smell like cake batter and never wear trousers. Hahaha. What a stupid fuck Dr. Keith Ablow is. Sorry, but he just is! He ends his article thusly:

I wonder what Jenna would think if her son wanted to celebrate his masculinity with a little playacting as a cowboy, with a gun? Would that bring the same smile of joy and pure love that we see on her face in the J. Crew advertisement? Or would that be where she might draw the line?

Guns are better than nail polish, if you're a boy. Thanks, Dr. Keith.

Some other moron is upset about this too, so that's good. I mean just look at that picture! Look at that smiling little faggot! Just terrible. Just so worth writing angry columns about. Thanks, everyone. Thanks and great job. Thank you for protecting the sanctity of humanity, of which you are such a good example, Dr. Keith Ablow.

Batty Boy

Jamaicans like music, but hate fags
By Son of Baldwin
The literary, socio-political, sexual, pop culture blog. Live from Bedford-Stuyvesant.

We don't understand this.

Jamaicans have a deep-seeded hatred of homosexuals that goes way beyond the simple homophobia and rests firmly on the grounds of Schizophrenia. Jamaicans HATE homosexuals--including the ones with whom they have sex. Shit, even Jamaican homosexuals hate homosexuals.

The hatred infects every atom of the society and every cell of the citizenry. It's in the DNA. They're proud of it. It's rivaled only by the Middle East. And we just have one question: Why?

We just read an article where the Jamaican prime minister wants the Jamaican constitution amended to restrict gay rights. "I make no apology in saying decisively and emphatically that the government of Jamaica remains irrevocably opposed to the recognition, legitimization or acceptance of same-sex marriages or same-sex unions," he said, before disappearing into the forest to give dome to some random stranger with a big dick.

We're kidding about that last part, but wouldn't be the least bit surprised if we discovered that it was true. And before we get all high and mighty about Jamaican homophobia, let us not forget that America ain't exactly loving the homos, either. In fact, hatred of homosexuals is pretty much the only subject where you can get Christians, Muslims, Hindis, Jews, the Taliban, al-Qaeda, democrats, and republicans to agree.

Read the full article here.